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    A Treasury Of 24 Hours Of LeMons Team Costumes, Part II

    Yes, You Can Buy A "Shabbat Shalom, M*****F****R" LeMons Team Shirt!

    Shabbat Shalom, M*****F****R: Team T-Shirts Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons!

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    The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

    For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).

    We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

    This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

    Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


    Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

    Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
    When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:

    1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:18.320



    2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:19.426



    3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2

    Best lap: 1:19.061



    4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16

    Best lap: 1.19.274



    5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7

    Best lap: 1:20.402



    6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e

    Best lap: 1:16.843



    7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:17.081



    8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra

    Best lap: 1:24.508



    9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX

    Best lap: 1:17.597



    10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX

    Best lap: 1:21.403



    11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona

    Best lap: 1:27.085



    12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata

    Best lap: 1:19.115



    13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX

    Best lap: 1:23.493



    14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger

    Best lap: 1:21.335



    15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic

    Best lap: 1:22.127



    16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i

    Best lap: 1:19.467



    17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica

    Best lap: 1:16.870



    18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:22.838



    19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600

    Best lap: 1:17.600



    20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e

    Best lap: 1:19.962



    21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:20.778



    22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45

    Best lap: 1:20.353



    23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT

    Best lap: 1:22.250



    24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu

    Best lap: 1:26.272



    25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf

    Best lap: 1:19.193



    26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica

    Best lap: 1:18.956



    27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon

    Best lap: 1:21.070



    28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo

    Best lap: 1:21.428



    29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon

    Best lap: 1:19.670



    30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e

    Best lap: 1:20.383



    31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica

    Best lap: 1:19.971



    32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck

    Best lap: 1:27.377



    33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord



    34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro

    Best lap: 1:16.274



    35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7

    Best lap: 1:20.690



    36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:17.657



    37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900

    Best lap: 1:17.737



    38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2

    Best lap: 1:19.290



    39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata

    Best lap: 1:14.182



    40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra

    Best lap: 1:14.490



    41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900

    Best lap: 1:24.799



    42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO

    Best lap: 1:19.013



    43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird

    Best lap: 1:26.580



    44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO

    Best lap: 1:17.388



    45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla

    Best lap: 1:19.033



    46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900

    Best lap: 1:25.900



    47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX

    Best lap: 1:20.019



    48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra

    Best lap: 1:21.582



    49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2

    Best lap: 1:17.750



    50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon

    Best lap: 1:30.032



    51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro

    Best lap: 1:19.661



    52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:27.506



    53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS

    Best lap: 1:19.314



    54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II

    Best lap: 1:20.219



    55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice

    Best lap: 1:17.766



    56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird

    Best lap: 1:22.215



    57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata

    Best lap: 1:19.828



    58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon

    Best lap: 1:21.100



    59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird

    Best lap: 1:22.090



    60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7

    Best lap: 1:20.715



    61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7

    Best lap: 1:16.657



    62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro

    Best lap: 1:23.438



    63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix

    Best lap: 1:21:323



    64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE

    Best lap: 1:22.457



    65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7

    Best lap: 1:18.325



    66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT

    Best lap: 1:21.343



    67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang

    Best lap: 1:20.409



    68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata

    Best lap: 1:15.036



    69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6

    Best lap: 1:24.378



    70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i

    Best lap: 1:18.095



    71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R

    Best lap: 1:20.245



    72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z

    Best lap: 1:18.313



    73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti

    Best lap: 1:21.392



    74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort

    Best lap: 1:29.523



    75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2

    Best lap: 1:21.035



    76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX

    Best lap: 1:23.467



    77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT

    Best lap: 1:21.448



    78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé

    Best lap: 1:22.456



    79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6

    Best lap: 1:26.399



    80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica

    Best lap: 1:24.492



    81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica

    Best lap: 1:23.608



    82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo

    Best lap: 1:28.954



    83. Margarita, Dodge Neon

    Best lap: 1:20.456



    84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325

    Best lap: 1:32.825



    85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX

    Best lap: 1:23.052



    86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude

    Best lap: 1:34.356



    87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i

    Best lap: 1:20.153



    88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra

    Best lap: 1:23.363



    89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX

    Best lap: 1:27.579



    90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck

    Best lap: 1:28.549



    91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano

    Best lap: 1:24.638



    92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon

    Best lap: 1:28.617



    93. Beermer, BMW 2002

    Best lap: 1:39.809



    94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang



    95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX

    Best lap: 1:22.139



    Top 95 Lemons Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons Texas Part 1





    Top 95 Lemons Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons Texas Part 2




    Send an email to Murilee Martin, the author of this post, at murilee@jalopnik.com.