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For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).

We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:

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1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:18.320



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2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:19.426



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3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2

Best lap: 1:19.061



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4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16

Best lap: 1.19.274



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5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.402



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6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:16.843



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7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:17.081



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8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra

Best lap: 1:24.508



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9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:17.597



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10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:21.403



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11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona

Best lap: 1:27.085



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12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:19.115



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13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX

Best lap: 1:23.493



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14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger

Best lap: 1:21.335



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15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic

Best lap: 1:22.127



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16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i

Best lap: 1:19.467



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17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:16.870



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18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:22.838



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19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600

Best lap: 1:17.600



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20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:19.962



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21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:20.778



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22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45

Best lap: 1:20.353



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23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT

Best lap: 1:22.250



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24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu

Best lap: 1:26.272



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25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf

Best lap: 1:19.193



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26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:18.956



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27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:21.070



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28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo

Best lap: 1:21.428



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29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:19.670



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30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:20.383



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31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:19.971



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32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck

Best lap: 1:27.377



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33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord



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34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro

Best lap: 1:16.274



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35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.690



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36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:17.657



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37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:17.737



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38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:19.290



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39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:14.182



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40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra

Best lap: 1:14.490



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41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:24.799



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42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO

Best lap: 1:19.013



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43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird

Best lap: 1:26.580



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44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO

Best lap: 1:17.388



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45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla

Best lap: 1:19.033



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46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:25.900



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47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:20.019



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48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra

Best lap: 1:21.582



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49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:17.750



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50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon

Best lap: 1:30.032



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51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro

Best lap: 1:19.661



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52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:27.506



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53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS

Best lap: 1:19.314



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54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II

Best lap: 1:20.219



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55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice

Best lap: 1:17.766



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56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird

Best lap: 1:22.215



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57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:19.828



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58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon

Best lap: 1:21.100



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59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird

Best lap: 1:22.090



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60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.715



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61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:16.657



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62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro

Best lap: 1:23.438



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63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix

Best lap: 1:21:323



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64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE

Best lap: 1:22.457



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65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:18.325



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66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT

Best lap: 1:21.343



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67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:20.409



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68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:15.036



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69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6

Best lap: 1:24.378



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70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i

Best lap: 1:18.095



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71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R

Best lap: 1:20.245



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72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z

Best lap: 1:18.313



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73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti

Best lap: 1:21.392



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74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort

Best lap: 1:29.523



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75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:21.035



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76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:23.467



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77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT

Best lap: 1:21.448



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78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé

Best lap: 1:22.456



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79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6

Best lap: 1:26.399



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80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:24.492



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81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:23.608



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82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo

Best lap: 1:28.954



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83. Margarita, Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:20.456



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84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325

Best lap: 1:32.825



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85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:23.052



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86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude

Best lap: 1:34.356



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87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i

Best lap: 1:20.153



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88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra

Best lap: 1:23.363



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89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:27.579



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90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck

Best lap: 1:28.549



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91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano

Best lap: 1:24.638



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92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon

Best lap: 1:28.617



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93. Beermer, BMW 2002

Best lap: 1:39.809



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94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang



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95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:22.139