Jay Lamm, founder of the $500-per-car-max 24 Hours Of Lemons, has extended his own bailout plan to American automaker CEOs. Will they take him up on his offer?
Lamm sent out the following letter to Alan Mulally, Maximum Bob Lutz and Jim Press of Ford, GM and Chrysler respectively outlining the plan. We're not sure the $1,000-per-race fee to take the identifying marks off of the LeMons entrants is such a good deal since, historically, they don't last quite so long. On the other hand, offering to buy unsellable inventory at a price of $500 a head might be just the solution American automakers have been looking for lately. We think five Benjamins is more than a fair price for a Sebring.
Hilarious letter, with intro from Lamm, below:
Like the rest of you, we are deeply concerned by Detroit's recent hardships. However, we believe that few experts in government or the private sector have yet asked the critical question: If GM, Ford, and Chrysler fail today, who'll build the $500 crapcans of tomorrow?
Thus, 24 Hours of LeMons is committing itself to assisting America's car industry. Earlier this week, we sent the following offer to Alan Mulally, President and CEO of Ford Motor Company. Similar letters were delivered to Robert A. Lutz (GM) and Jim Press (Chrysler):
2 February 2009
Mr. Alan Mulally, President
FORD MOTOR COMPANY
1 American Road
Dearborn MI 48126
Dear Mr. Mulally:
I am writing to offer you non-sponsorship ("nonsorship") of the 24 Hours of LeMons. These races, which are restricted to cars costing $500 or less, receive extensive media coverage demonstrating poor build quality, dubious reliability, and nonexistent resale value. Vehicles produced by your firm are frequent participants.
To help you avoid a negative impact on your brands, 24 Hours of LeMons is offering to obscure your firm's brand identity on all competing vehicles for $1,000 per race. I'm sure you'll agree LeMons nonsorship promises much greater marketing benefit than traditional motorsport sponsorships, at merely a fraction the cost.
I look forward to your response.
Jay Lamm, Chief Perpetrator
24 HOURS OF LeMONS
PS: LeMons is also prepared to purchase, through the federally backed Capacity Reduction Assistance Program (CRAP), any and all of your firm's new but unpopular vehicles for use in our race series at $500/unit. Such vehicles would of course be included under ongoing nonsorship contracts.