Man Steals Hearse During Funeral Service

Our nominee for Hoon of the Day goes to the Florida man who stole a hearse during a funeral service. Yes, we said during the service.

A man who was "tagging" along with a funeral service jumped in and stole the waiting hearse. He decided to go for a little scenic tour of Florida and "ironically" drives to his house to grab a bible, talk to his mom, then asks if anyone wants to go for a ride back to the church. What? The jokes just write themselves.

Sheriff Al Lamberti said:

"Just when you think you've seen it all, this is obviously a first for me. We've had hearses stolen before, but not in the middle of a service (What kind of place is this?). It's obviously a very strange situation."

The situation ended when the man, on his way back to the church, almost ran over a Sheriff's Deputy who in turn shot him in the leg. After a short foot chase, our Hoon of the Day nominee ran into the church, disrupting the funeral for the second time at which point he was placed under arrest.

Video and bonus joke below:

(Thanks for the tip Goatrope!)

Here's a bonus joke because there's no better time to tell it than when you're talking about a hearse, here goes nothing:

A man was walking back home when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking with a dog. Behind that were 200 men walking in a single file.

He respectfully approached the man walking with the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral procession like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife. My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

After a moment of silence he asked, "Can I borrow the dog?"

The man with the dog replied,

"Get in line."

[via Sun Sentinel]