SAs we keep saying, the team that gets the most laps at a 24 Hours Of LeMons race should feel very proud of the accomplishment, checkered flag waving, all that stuff. However, the prize you really want to shoot for is the Index Of Effluency, which goes to the team that gets the furthest with the most ridiculous possible "race car." For example, the Tunachuckers Volvo Amazon was the slam-dunk IOE winner at LeMons South. It's already becoming obvious, however, that the competition for the IOE is shaping up to be a real knock-down-drag-out for the LeMons Arse Freeze-A-Palooza race coming up in December…
We've all read Armand Bengle's oft-voiced threats to bring a V12 Jaguar to Thunderhill in December, and normally you'd figure he might as well start measuring shelf space for the Index Of Effluency trophy with such a car; just run a few dozen laps before blowing up or catching on fire and that's that! But that Jag is going to have some weapons-grade IOE competition on the track!
Would you believe a mid-60s Chevrolet Corvair? With four carburetors? Yes, by the time UDMan brings his Corvair to LeMons New England, he'll have some idea of what to expect from his swingaxle-equipped racin' mo-sheen, because Team Unsafe At Any Speed is duct-taping a truly wretched-looking Corvair into shape. Two months to go! Panic! Work faster!
Fine, so the Corvair will be duking it out with the Jag, in a race to see whether the Prince Of Darkness will hose the V12's ignition system before the Corvair goes spinning backwards off the track and breaks in half due to excessive rust, with the "winner" taking home the trophy. Not so fast, monsieur! Team Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys will be out there in a turbocharged, rear-wheel-drive, high-performance European sedan that, in theory, should be able to make everything else on the track eat its Gauloises-scented dust. Theory, practice… sometimes they diverge quite a bit, and the 505 Turbo is pure Index Of Effluency gold. Will it blow up? Will some incomprehensibly French component fail in some inscrutable, unfixable manner? Will it simply disintegrate on the track after a few laps of abuse? Or will it scream to victory, thanks to its 150 horses and lightweight chassis? There's just no telling, but we're positive that this is going to be a helluva race!