Why you should buy the 2009 Jaguar XF:
The Jerries killed one of your uncles, the Japs the other, the Yanks came into the war too late and now you’re shopping for a mid-size luxury sedan. You’ve seen one too many episodes of The Professionals. Your wife has the complete set of Golden Jubilee china. You’re a dentist living in Miami and since your Lehman brothers stock is now worthless you can’t quite stretch to an XJ. You want a fast luxury car, but think speed kills.

Why you shouldn't buy this car:
You want a car that’s equally capable of cosseting your bottom and lapping a racetrack. You’re not prepared to purchase an uncompetitive car just because it’s got a kitty on the grille. You never really liked the Chrysler LHS and Dodge Intrepid anyways.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: Yes
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes
Very Serious Businessmen: Yes
Sheiklets: No

Also Consider:
• BMW 5-Series
• Mercedes E-Class
• Audi A6
• Lexus GS
• Infiniti G35
• Rover SD1

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Jaguar
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $49,975
• Price as Tested: $55,975
• Engine type: 4.2-liter DOHC V8
• Horsepower: 300 @ 6000 RPM
• Torque: 310 @ 4100 RPM
• Transmission: 6-Speed Automatic
• Curb Weight: 4,017 LB
• LxWxH: 195.3" x 80.8" x 57.5
• Wheelbase: 114.5"
• Tires: 245/40 19
• 0-60: 6.2 secs
• Top speed: 121 MPH (limited)
• 1/4 mile: N/A
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 16/25 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

Photo Credit: Dean Chandler / Ray Wert

Also See:
• 2009 Jaguar XF, Part One
• 2009 Jaguar XF, Part Two

Send an email to Wes Siler, the author of this post, at wes@jalopnik.com.