As most of you probably know, tonight is the night that Barack Obama addresses the Democratic National Convention and the nation as the first African-American nominated for president by a major party. His victory was a result of an extended and often complicated primary that involved delegates, superdelegates, half-delegates and Guam. In this uncertain environment, NBC's Chuck Todd turned into a star political analyst because of his ability to understand and explain what was happening. With a grasp of delegate math and an impressive collection of facial hair, he's earned the moniker Mathbeard. But however smart Mathbeard may be, he couldn't have explained the process better to Jalops than Graverobber did today in the Volvo 740 post.
Well, now we know where the Obama campaign got their slogan. And I could totally see Obama as a Volvo; a black, V70-R- sporty but safe and family oriented, but with unknown durability. Parked beside it would be "Biden", a white 740 which would be good for long-winded drives and due to a sagging spring, would lean to the left. McCain too could be a Volvo, albeit an old 164 with fading silver paint, and rust blisters on the front fender. It'd start every morning, but wouldn't put up with any hard driving, and would bark and backfire if pushed. It would turn both left and right, but would by hamstrung by Buicks which would surround it and refuse to let it go anywhere but right. Next to the 164 would be a fat old PV 444, rusty and refusing to give up the parking space to a younger 1800. You'd try and dump the 444, but it keeps moving from one undisclosed location to another, and sells all your stuff to its friends while you're forced to eat cat food. Its license plate "CHENEY" finally gives it away and you eventually offload it to cuba, where it does duty at Guantanamo and suffers abject humiliation of water dashboarding at the hands of special ops PX drivers who are acting "under orders."
That makes perfect sense to me. [Photo by David J. Swift/Meet the Press via Getty Images]