SWelcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! In yesterday's matchup, we saw the rear-wheel-drive hot-rod Corolla beat the front-wheel-drive hot-rod Corolla in the Choose Your Eternity poll. And that's great, only we got a bunch of static from readers who thought those two cars weren't punitive enough. Fine, we'll remedy that situation ASAP, with a couple of weapons-grade Hell Projects for you. The initial cost won't be all that high, but you'll have the chance to repent at leisure with either half of this PCH Superpower matchup!
Ahhh, the Triumph Stag. It may well be the king of British Hell Projects, combining British Leyland build quality, Prince Of Darkness electricals, and a half-baked SOHC V8 engine that was flaky even by Triumph's incredibly generous standards. Shockingly, the last one we saw in the Hell Garage was beaten by a Porsche, so today we're giving the Stag a chance to redeem itself. First thing you need to ask yourself is: when a British car sits for 25 years, what does that mean to you? If your answer isn't "RUN AWAY!" then you're qualified to buy this 1971 Triumph Stag (go here if the ad disappears), which has a like-new 71,000 miles on the clock. Sure, it will need some work- note the disconcerting statement "mice chewed through wire harness so not currently running"- but the "motor isn't froze," so you're practically driving it already! In a masterpiece of understatement, the seller admits it "needs full restoration," but look at the price: $2,000. You could drop another grand on this Nissan VH45DE and stay true to the OHC V8 spirit while ditching the 27-foot-long Triumph timing chains. What could possibly go wrong?
A V8-powered British sports car would be great, but how can you resist the appeal of a high-strung 60s Italian sedan? Say, one with a wailing 1570cc engine and factory Webers? Well, head on out to the middle of nowhere in California's Central Valley and check out this 1967 Alfa Romeo Giulia Super (go here if the ad disappears). You won't find the owner there, because he's in Arizona, nor will you find a price. That's right, it's one of those $1 Craigslist ads we love so much, but don't think the seller's going to fall for your lowball bid- he or she has included a postscript that speaks volumes about how negotiations are likely to go: "P.S. I know this car is worth in excess $20k restored. So please be respectful." We've never seen the "be respectful" line before, but we suspect it means the car will be available for quite a while. It's been sitting for at least ten years, in an area with 100-plus-degree summers and icy howling storms in the winter, so there will be plenty for you to do. It does come with the cool yellow-on-black California plates and a spare limited-slip rear end, the glass seems to be intact, and it appears that rust isn't a major problem. Come on, how hard could it be? You could even ditch the original engine and put this here SR20DET in its place! Thanks to A Benz Apart for the tip!