Jalopnik
The 2009 Honda Pilot isn't the fastest or most exciting car to go on sale this year, nor is it the best looking. But, if we're honest with ourselves — which honestly, we aren't very often — it's probably the one we should buy. But that's the problem with honesty, it just isn't very exciting.
You see, with up to six or seven beefy bloggers, plus the occasional girly man (I'm raising my hand here) to haul around, most of the sexy sports cars we dream about are ruthlessly inefficient. Requiring Ray — we let him drive, it makes him feel powerful — to make an equivalent number of journeys to the number of people being moved just isn't the best way to start off sixteen hours of live auto show coverage. Aside from the fact that none of us enjoy being there, Ray's full blown borderline OCD has him biting our heads off at the best of times. Throwing cramped quarters into the equation would probably bring about the end of Jalopnik as we know it.
A minivan would probably be best suited to our needs. Designed with nothing but road-going people capacity in mind, they're exactly what we need. The problem is, our vanity (once again, my hand way up in the air) gets in the way. Hence the constant stream of SUVs, they provide the utility without making us look like we're on the way to a sci-fi convention, Hardigree excepted. We know we're not kidding anyone — the closest we usually get to off-roading is when we get lost in downtown Detroit — but in the unbelievably egotistical world of automotive journalism (we won't call it an industry as that would suggest something productive is, on the whole, achieved by those involved) trucks allow us to cling to whatever shred of cred we still have. At least until we get drunk and pick fights with Angus MacKenzie that is.
Those trucks usually take the form of some variant of the Suburban/Yukon/Escalade platform. An inefficient use of space if we ever saw one. Not only do they only offer cramped accommodation for seven, but they're also larger outside than Ray's apartment. We like them mostly because GM will hand them over at the merest hint of a phone call. And because we think they lend our badly dressed, overweight asses some sort of class. Something that's lost the second Travis exposes his crack attempting to climb into the way back seats.
Not only are these trucks ruthlessly non-reformed of us, but they're also a stupid choice, never delivering on their promised utility. This is where the Pilot comes in. Possibly the most unassuming car we've ever come across, and by that we mean it looks so bland we actually have no opinion on its design, it is nevertheless ridiculously practical. Here, in the footprint of a Highlander, you have eight seats, enough interior capacity to carry a stack of plywood sheets, enough cup holders to hold a week's worth of spilled coffee and skittles, and fuel economy that manages to creep above 20mpg, depending of course on none of us actually being allowed to drive it that is
The new Pilot manages to make all other crossovers, and certainly every SUV ever look ridiculous by somehow actually delivering on the utility they've always promised but never delivered. It's safe, it tows, it carries eight, you could move house in it, and it drives well. It's even good off road. Imagine that. This is great news to tens of thousands of American families with the good sense to buy one, but bad for us. Not just because Gawker's too cheap to ever actually shell out for a car, but because, caught up in our own fantasies of performance and image, we'll never be smart enough to buy one ourselves. We'll be missing out. Honest.
Comments
The new Pilot looks like a crossover. I liked the old one better. It had all of the proportions and butch looks of a truck based SUV but all of the carlike benefits of a crossover. Granted, its butchness was only skin deep, but it was still better than this. I mean, which would you rather have, plastic surgery muscles or an oversized beer gut? One is truth in advertising, but the other is blissful ignorance.
The front of that Honda is pig ugly,& just like most other Honda's it will be as much fun to drive as being kicked in the nuts.Another car for people that hate cars!
YUCK! why are turds like this, being exhibited on Jalopnik.com anyway?
I love this car. Oh wait. Wrong car. I hate this car.
The Editors of Jalopnik offered a bounty for high quality pictures of the new Honda Pilot only a few days ago. Now, alakazzam!, Wes has a review of the new Pilot, right here on Jalopnik.
So, I was wondering. Are you just playing with your readers, or are you actually trying to get them more involved?
I wanted an Avant, so we got a 2005 Pilot. It is comfortable and surprisingly fast but I will never get used to torque steer. Also the motor sounds pretty sweet when it hits teh VTEC. I never imagined that I could be so fond of a car that I really don't give a shit about.
I'm amazed how much much it looks like a Chrysler product. At least from every angle but the front, which is nothing but pure ug, and not even in a tough way.
I know I have a problem when I plan the number of kids I want to have based on the vehicles available.
Still leaning toward Forester for the "ultimate family of 3/4" vehicle" that does just about everything well. But I must give Honda credit--this has always seemed like the best compromise for everything it does. It's the antithesis of a purpose-built machine, so I tip my hat to their ingenuity.
Did I mention yet that this needs an uptuned version of Honda's 4-pot Diesel?
I'm no greenie, but once again, if 95% of your real-life usage is to transport 2-4 people with no towing or hauling, then you're taking a 50%+ fuel economy hit for all the unused capacity.
looks like the first generation Saturn Vue that had a stroke
@UDMan: We're dicking around with automakers and trying to get you more involved.
@Benz250S: Not every car can be as beautiful as the WRX, you know. And by beautiful, I mean not at all.
Can you guys PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pick more drunken fights with Angus McKenzie? And maybe throw a few punches towards Csaba Csere while you're at it?
It's funny how I can enjoy a review so much, and not give a crap about the subject of said review. Personally, I liked the late 90's Honda Passport. This thing doesn't move me at all, but Wes managed to make a review of a boring car very entertaining.
Well, that's a right nice station wagon you've got there. And you say it's got 4 wheel drive? Well, isn't that like maple syrup on a short stack. Shame about the looks though. That's a car you'd always let pass, just so you don't have to look at that nose in the rear-view.
It's not pretty, but it's no Ssanyong.
This one has to be a category winner for front end ugliness. The lead picture alone should have stopped me from reading this review, but Wes's writing had me wanting to ride with the crew.
wow, I can't believe so many people didn't like this car. I thought it looked nice.
@buyj3llo: I challenge anyone to come up with an 8-passenger, 2-box SUV design that looks better on the same footprint. I thought the last gen was one of the ugliest vehicles on the road--this is slightly better. But it's function over form.
@ buyj3llo:
i agree! i thought it looked nice. its a bit more boxy then the last iteration. then again, i drive a late 90's pathfinder, and her face certainly ain't the prettiest thing to look at either.
Yeah, I don't think it looks that terrible either. And sure, it's not a car for enthusiasts, but most of the driving public aren't enthusiasts.
So, exactly like the Accord Coupe review of yesterday, what you are saying is that you wish you had a JDM Honda Stream. Preferably in Diesel. In other words, that Honda sold a 6 seater wagon in the US of A. But they don't. So you use a 4x4 to get to the auto show and hold the flowerpots on your lap when you go to IKEA.
Didn't like the previous one as it looked silly and like they threw too much "truck" on a lighter-duty platform.
This one has the classic proportions and kinda ugly front end that an SUV should have in my eyes. Of course, that also means it looks like every other SUV (but with a weird grille).
@Wes: I'm curious what it'll tow. It looks lighter-duty than a 1/2 ton pickup, which is generally the minimum for things like boats or track-cars.
If you can look past that grill, the Pilot offers a lot of car for the money, the gas mileage is good for its size and the features offered compare well with SUVs that cost a lot more.
@elwood:
I would consider myself an enthusiast and we have a Pilot. I prefer the original styling the best, before they messed around with clear corners and chrome/brushed metal grills and the like.
It holds 8 people (best if the 3 in the way way are kids, though), tows the Seven on an open trailer (it would be pushing the limits to tow in an enclosed...and make sure to get an airlift kit to compensate for squat when you load it up or suffer some very irregular tire wear), and has been extremely reliable and comfortable.
I hated it when we first got it, because it is totally a driving appliance, especially compared to the MTM'd A4 Avant it replaced. It is also the first car we special ordered and waited for. But over the years and miles (over 140k now), the car has really grown on me. So much that I plan on taking it over as my daily driver...my wife can get the next new car that comes in.
I really like the looks of the current MDX built on the same platform, but they charge a big premium and take away one 3rd row seat.
@Al Navarro: I would consider you an enthusiast too, but you also own a Seven as a not so much daily driver. If I was getting a car which was to be my ONLY car, and I needed a significant amount of utility, I'd be looking at some sort of Audi or Subaru wagon, and not so much this.
That 649 word review contained 263 words about the Pilot. That is probably about 260 too many.
In your next review of a Honda product, please omit all mention of the product, and talk about something else that might be interesting. Did any of you guys get new shoes or something recently? Read any good books lately? Any of these topics = better than a review of a Honda Pilot.
Thanks.
@elwood:
Having gone from an Audi wagon that was extremely fun to drive but which also occasionally left me stranded (or at least in limp home mode) I can appreciate the boring reliability of the Pilot.
We test drove the WRX recently and my folks both have Subes...but we're just not smitten. And I want so much to like them...
But yes, I think having the Se7en in the garage (though for who knows how long!?!) makes it a bit easier to go with boring for the daily drivers. I'm pretty sure the next new car coming in for us will also be a, yawn, Honda.
I've changed my mind about giving up my Jeep: Wert, if you want a '98 with less than 100k miles I'd happily trade you mine for the keys of this Pilot. One thing though - you have to replace the grill on the Pilot first.
@ash78:
"I challenge anyone to come up with an 8-passenger, 2-box SUV design that looks better on the same footprint."
Acadia.
This one follows the same script as the Accord. Great powertrain technology, meh dynamics, and atrocious design.
@badco/LoJ: Amen to that. The Acadia and Outlook are both much nicer looking vehicles. So, frankly, is the Taurus X. And the Flex.
Looks like the marketing department knows it's ugly...in most of the pictures there can't be more than a few hundred pixels actually devoted to the Pilot.
@Wes: Are those the Mud Caves at Anza Borrego?
Next time you guys are in SoCal and need pictures of cars on dirt, give me a call. I know a few good places.
@badco/LoJ, @Preferredcustomer: I agree that all of the CUVs you listed look better and are more desirable, but they're all a foot longer than the Pilot.
@Al Navarro: Actually, MDX has 3 rows of seats too, and looks completely different. Especially on the inside.
@Citroen_SM:
Read that again...I guess I could have been more precise and said that they take one seat from the third row...meaning the MDX only has 2 seats in the way way=7 passenger capability. Vs. my Pilot's 8.
I know the MDX looks different...and I like it compared to the current Pilot. But I also know it's built on the same platform. Read, people.
i like ugly, in a cube, xb, element, transit courier, and now pilot kind of a way.
also, wes, does this really take 4x8 sheets of plywood in it? flat, with the tailgate closed? any pictures to prove, as i'd like to see. yes, i'm that interesting.
The best people-carrier for my money is the most recent generation Mazda5. Slow-car-fast performance, look-at-me-I'm-a-grownup-racer manumatic, and best of all, it looks like an Odyssey had a kitten. D'awwww.
@athodyd: The Mazda5 is one of the sexiest non-sports cars being produced today, in my opinion. It's just got something about it. I have no idea what that something is. I imagine it's too small, though, for Jalopnik's needs.
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