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EXCLUSIVE: "The Ramp", A Documentary by Jeff Schultz

"There's a fine line between genius, and insanity — and a hair brained scheme, and a revolutionary idea." posits this film, and we agree. As a result of our early discovery of the 2009 BMW 1-Series themed Rampenfest viral marketing campaign, we have been offered the exclusive rights to bring you the world wide documentary premier of "The Ramp". The thirty minute movie chronicles the men, the mission, and the madness of an attempt to launch the 1-series from Germany to America by way of ramp. And before you get to thinking, "Bah, that's not too hard," the attempt is not designed to simply go from the imaginary town of Oberpfaffelbachen, Germany to say, New York City. No, the car's intended target is San Francisco. So grab some popcorn and a comfy chair, sit back, and enjoy the ~~frigtening naivete of physics~~ ~~terrifying Deutsche chompers~~ movie in three parts. ED: Yes, we know we're probably just shilling for BMW, but they're practically making fun of themselves here, so how could we not run with this? UPDATE: All three parts of the video are now below the jump to prevent the threesome of streams from all playing together.

The Ramp, Part 1

The Ramp, Part 2

The Ramp. Part 3

Download the high res version at the site "Jeff Schultz" has set up for the movie: Rampenfest.com

Woe unto thee in cubical farms, for this is our greatest attempt yet to get you canned

10:20 AM on Fri Apr 4 2008
By Ben Wojdyla
8,342 views
44 comments

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Al Navarro at 10:29 AM on 04/04/08
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If you feel like atoning for this shill, you guys can run that Porsche Ad review I think Ray or Matt may still have.
Al Navarro at 10:30 AM on 04/04/08
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Excellent final tag, btw. "Jalopnik tries to get people fired"
JantheMan at 10:36 AM on 04/04/08
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I love it.....bit I can't sit still for half an hour and do nothing....The first ten is aall I have seen...great
smalleyxb122 at 10:42 AM on 04/04/08
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I'll have to watch these when I get home. Not that I won't spend at least 30 minutes on Jalopnik throughout the day, but staring intently at my screen in 10 minute blocks with nary a mouse click might arouse suspicion.
macfarlane.a at 10:52 AM on 04/04/08
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"Sure, I raped Nature, but that's my job. That's what I do. I have nothing to be ashamed of."

Awesome.
FLAT4-PΩWER ™ at 10:52 AM on 04/04/08
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To answer the question, "how could we not run with this?" Boring. I want to see 'em launch a few. It's a little too artsy for it's own good.
Adamskiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiy at 11:00 AM on 04/04/08
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I was wondering why I was hearing three different audio tracks at once....then I scrolled down.
Number_Six at 11:21 AM on 04/04/08
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Oberpfaffelbachen is an anagram for Peenemünde.
UDMan at 11:22 AM on 04/04/08
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Well, that's 30 minutes I'll never get back
boofighter at 11:26 AM on 04/04/08
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ED: Yes, we know we're probably just shilling for BMW, but they're practically making fun of themselves here, so how could we not run with this? and they like to give us money to advertise on our website.
McBrace at 11:32 AM on 04/04/08
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"YOU STUPID IDIOT YOU'VE POINTED THE RAMP THE WRONG WAY!

AMERICA IS IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION"

And Im sure that that wing would have made all the difference.

Oberpfaffelbachen just needs to build an elevated dentist on the top and people can use the ramp to get to it for all their tooth like needs :)
Fixxxer at 11:33 AM on 04/04/08
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The end was kind of depressing, actually.

Did they model everyone's fake teeth after Nick Heidfeld's? That dude has got some huge teeth.
[www.marcins-kubica.friko.pl]
graverobber- Two BEER... at 11:41 AM on 04/04/08
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@UDMan: Dude, you must learn to multitask. This is why I made sure our WiFi reaches the men's room.
ArtVandelay32 at 11:44 AM on 04/04/08
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Franz Brendl is the man. I want him to organize my 40th B-Day party.

Marketing or not, this is hilarious. And sure as heck beats reading work emails.
redheadstepchild at 11:50 AM on 04/04/08
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Two thumbs up.

Funnier than anything I watched on TV last night.

Can they make another one so I don't have to go back to work?
voodoojoo at 12:09 PM on 04/04/08
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Mensch are Bavarians hard to understand. Not just Bayrische Deutsch, but also the English. I remember being in the southern most chunk of Bavaria, right at the base of the Eagle's Nest and had to ask the locals if they spoke Hochdeutsch. What nutbars.
Darkness12 at 12:13 PM on 04/04/08
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You know what... I wasnt even gonna ask, but what did I just sit here and watch...? Was every man in the village hit in the side of the face with shovels?
voodoojoo at 12:13 PM on 04/04/08
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Oh and nice shot of just a bird, Indie-McGee.
lascauxcaveman at 12:25 PM on 04/04/08
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Usage Nazi Caveman will have to insist on the more traditional "hare brained." (Which I believe originated in the vernacular as describing something that unpredictable, flighty, or just plain bonkers, like a cwazy wabbit dashing about in all directions.)

(see, this why I'm never gonna get a star :(
Evodico at 12:42 PM on 04/04/08
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From now on I'm starting all countdowns, especially at large gatherings, at 35.

"Let's all wish Liz a happy birthday! 35.. 34.. 33.. 32.. 31.."

"Okay, everyone's got a good grip? Great. Remember to all lift in sync. Off we go now.. On my count.. 35.."
Boter at 01:14 PM on 04/04/08
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I'm sure it started at a full minute, it was just cut to halfway in.

That was really well done... emotionally, great stuff. I'd get a DVD of it - ever notice how an attention span is infinitely larger on a TV from the couch?
TheTooth at 01:43 PM on 04/04/08
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This movie is nothing without an actual launch. I'm glad I skipped to the end to see it first, now I don't have to waste time watching the rest of it.
TheTooth at 01:44 PM on 04/04/08
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@Boter: Good point... I'd probably sit through this on my sofa... but not at my desk.
ThisisGuffman at 01:45 PM on 04/04/08
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The Tooth - I take it you aren't a Sopranos fan. Do you always watch the ending to see if you'll like the whole movie? Brilliant.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Rampenfest pretzel.
suzq044 at 01:46 PM on 04/04/08
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judging by what you guys are saying; i'm glad i skipped to the end. lol
ArtVandelay32 at 01:55 PM on 04/04/08
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Watch the entire thing Suzq044. If you are just expecting to watch a car go off a ramp, then watch Kenny Powers. Who judges an entire book by reading just the last chapter? Although the priest kind of freaks me out.
digitalchinaman at 02:16 PM on 04/04/08
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Southern Paraguay! Genius.
Al Navarro at 02:59 PM on 04/04/08
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I have a question (no I haven't sat watching the vids here at work, very busy making great creative here today): Does this marketing effort cum faux documentary do much to engage people with the brand/product? Not to speak of actually selling the product.

The fact that I'm not rushing to watch it - where I watched the original BMW Films stuff regularly in the office even in those low bandwidth days - speaks not so well of this effort.

As an old colleague used to say, this could be "A long run for a short slide."
ArtVandelay32 at 03:13 PM on 04/04/08
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By taking the time to post something on this blog, you've just answered your own question.

I don't know much about marketing, but I get the sense that this was just supposed to be fun and weird. That's it. I've seen other 1-Series stuff on TV that does the "selling." And the fact that people are spending 30 minutes to watch a faux documentary about the 1-Series proves it to be successful.

Perhaps I'm just a sucker. But this cracked me up.
whitenshiny at 03:19 PM on 04/04/08
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I don't know anything about marketing either. But I am a Dentist and I'm moving over there to make a fortune.

"When BMW sees that it is successful, they will give us money back and we all will be rich!"

Funny stuff.
ArtVandelay32 at 03:25 PM on 04/04/08
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Oh daddy.

Two words: Miss Rampenfest

[oberpfaffelbachen.com]
Al Navarro at 03:59 PM on 04/04/08
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@ArtVandelay32:
I'm a Cotomer Sevis Rep, I've got to chime in where possible!
tonyletigre at 04:33 PM on 04/04/08
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Those wings look lifted from a WW2 V1 Rocket. Another german attempt at launching things towards the west.
Schm is not... at 05:04 PM on 04/04/08
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Well, after watching this video, ive learned several very important life lessons, listed below.

1. Barvarians are. . .intresting, to say the least.

2. Thoes steryotypes about german cops, they're true.

3. People in barvaria have terrible dental hygine.

4. Barvarian stunt drivers are pricks.

5. Never invest your life savings in any inclined- plane-related merchandise.

6. BMW 1 series: its not attractive, its expensive, its impractiable and its heavy. (I knew that already tho)
digitalchinaman at 05:07 PM on 04/04/08
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I wish someone would have told me about life lesson #5 before today.

I'm broke.

I would buy a 1 Series however. But only if it comes with wings.
boognish at 05:12 PM on 04/04/08
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The priest in the very beggining needs longer hair, and singing.. "The Lord is in... His holy temmmm Pul!"
ChaoticLimbs at 06:37 PM on 04/04/08
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Ah oold commemt om vifsh, buh Ah camt taok mwiff deesh giam fteef im my mouf. Buh Ah am fwom Bavawiah.
hirohello at 07:25 PM on 04/04/08
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Wow.

Teeth + Bavarians + Ramp = greatest thing these eye balls have seen in a long while. Marketing or no marketing, that's damn impressive. Pretty well done for the internet. Sure as heck beats the lame TV spot I just saw last night.

And the idea that this little town has to live with a giant ramp for the rest of their lives is brilliant. Or maybe I'm just a huge jerk.
caliejim at 12:57 PM on 04/05/08
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Dear Bavarian Mail Order Brides,

Please send Evi to California. I love her and her souvenirs.

CalieJim
2cold2 at 09:24 AM on 04/07/08
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Ha. Very funny.
rundmconnel at 09:29 AM on 04/07/08
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Finally got to see this over the weekend b/c blocked at work. It's pretty funny. Has anyone seen the websites? LOL.

Makes me miss The Office.
b33g33 at 11:17 AM on 04/07/08
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@lascauxcaveman: Beaten to the punch by Caveman. Ah well, we were splitting hairs anyway.
typhoon5000 at 04:47 PM on 04/08/08
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Go Buffalo, NY! awesome stuff
jamesuschrist at 04:13 AM on 04/13/08
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They stole my idea! I once gave a speech (to my high school class, admittedly) suggesting that our county should build a giant ramp to attract tourism. The concept included a once-yearly festival...