Jalopnik
A lawmaker in Virginia plans to introduce a bill that would ban truck nuts. "It comes to a point where there are certain things you just can't do. And putting testicles on the back of a truck is just too much. So I am trying to stop it," Delegate Lionell Spruill told WTKR. He apparently reached his decision after a constituent's young daughter saw them on the back of a pickup truck.
Pretty much our favorite thing about this country is the time, effort and energy elected officials spend legislating mundane, harmless things and the emphasis they put on doing so. Awesome. [Via WTKR]
Comments
It's about time!
Funny, I never see these on trucks here in the deep South.
However, I always see them on donks/bubbles/boxes.
I'm so glad he's wasting my state taxes.
The constituent's young daughter is going to be seeing a lot more balls in her face in the coming years. ZING!
If these are banned, will the trucks' exhaust note rise by an octave or two...?
next stop castration of large animals' nether regions.
@Charles_Barrett:
COTD. From Flowmaster to whistle-tip (Woo-Woo!)
When nuts on trucks are outlawed, only outlaws in trucks will have nuts?
Nuts.
If truck nuts are wrong, I don't wanna be right. Besides, it keeps the ladies from taking the chrome off the hitch.
(sigh)
Before truck testicles were available for sale, I had friends hanging huge 1" nuts off the differentials of huge 4X4's in and around the red neck parts of PA. At that point in time, I was a Kentuckian.
So what.. Move on to something more important.
Here's his Delegate rap sheet...
[www.richmondsunlight.com]
He's has less then 25% passage of his bills.
As a non-Christian, I feel confident that this action requires me to say "Jesus Christ."
Virginia is trying SO HARD to take away California's crown as Queen of the Nanny States.
Well there goes my "TaTas for you Tata" idea
I never understood why anyone would want a rubber ballsack hanging off their back bumper...i mean is it some kind of gay kink pick u? The shiny silver naked ladies (although a little tacky) make a definite statement.
Trucks Nuts should be banned from being put on the back of trucks. They're nuts, they should go on the front.
This guy's got some Balls introducing this Bill!
I've always thought these were a true sign America had reached a new low. I mean, while you're at it, why not make "truck labia"?
As much as I hate these things and want to say "Not a moment too soon!" some people need to get over themselves.
I wonder if Virginia's pick up truck owners will get together and try to roast this guy's nuts by protesting?
@beercheck: Bollocks
C'mon, this is AMERICA, people. You can't BAN stupidity!
Well if this goes through, the only nuts will be those driving pickup trucks, since they'll be paying absurdly high gas prices.
It's a waste of taxpayer money, buy damn, that is the dumbest shit you could ever put on a car, and that includes import double wipers, plywood wings, and spinner hubcaps.
@Al Navarro: I think Dodge has already cornered the market on displaying female genitalia on trucks. [www.collegecandy.com]
@Al Navarro: "Truck labia" would probably attrack too many dragons...
This law would bother me more if I were single, the truck nuts let women know who the idiots are and help steer them toward more appropriate men such as myself.
But I'm married, so I just don't care.
@gus91326: I dunno. I think that stick-on sunroof thing is still king of that hill.
[jalopnik.com]
Besides, this is clearly superior.
@Charles_Barrett: I like the idea, instead of hanging below the hitch they would fit over the hitch and the ball would look like a piercing.
i think we should go the other way and force all yokels to put nuts on their vehicles, purely so we can identify them.
i am surprised that people dumb and immature enough to purchase these things aren't too homophobic to touch them during installation.
Dont take my nuts bro!
On the top of my "things I hate" list are truck nuts and attempting to legislate morality/taste.
Thus...I'm torn.
What's next? A ban on tramp stamps?
@TechnoDestructo: We don't have anything this stupid. We also don't $1,500 speeding fines. Yet. Arnold needs to balance the budget, so I rule nothing out.
when nuts are outlawed, only outlaws will have nuts
@RalphieDC: That'd be one heck of a piercing... gage octuple-zero, maybe...?
It would be nice if some state other than mine could be featured in one of these "Look what these idiots are doing!" pieces. Seems like every one lately features Virginny. Not that we don't have our fair share of idiots. Virginia also pretty much invented paternalism in the US. The Commonwealth knows best, dear. It will make that decision for you.
Good move. The World needs more actual laws against stupid, tacky stuff like that.
Grotesque though they are, truck nuts are a tiny little part of Americana, and to eliminate them with legislation I think reflects much more poorly on our culture than do the truck nuts themselves.
Also, if truck nuts were banned, we (read: I) wouldn't have an excuse to go through the absurd exercise of discussing truck nuts in an intelligent manner.
@TechnoDestructo: I agree. I live in Arlington county and the local government is becoming more and more Communist every day.
I think the chromed nut sack looks pretty cool swinging from a trailer hitch.
A buddy of mine bought some big nuts like used to bolt down light poles on the highway. His idea is to have the same joke but less graphic and sell them with different sports colors I.E blue and white for the Colts et cetera. These nuts are kinda gay but it would be funny to hear this debate in a congressional hearing on CSPAN.
@Charles_Barrett: No, but the trucks will be much less interested in going off road or doing any other recreational activities.
I dated a woman that had these on her Blazer. Her logic? "My truck's a guy, it should have balls."
@tekman63: On the positive side they are far less likely to spray indoors and they won't make kittens.
Ha! You should see the effect when you hang these under your bicycle saddle....
@STR8SIX: how is that specifically communist? i am on the left politically and i don't favor banning anything. while totalitarianism or authoritarianism know both sides of the political spectrum they seem to be much more a product of the far right than anything else.
It's Virginia.
The same state that requires certain bumper height, bans spoilers, aftermarket exhausts, and hoodscoops, whether they are stock equipment or not.
I always thought truck nuts showed that your truck was a substitute for your tiny, tiny penis.
Oh, and Barnum's "a fool and his money are soon parted" isn't necessarily a bad thing.
What's wrong with a sack hanging from back of a redneck's truck anyway? Shiiiet!
@harumph: This particular law is authortarianistic, but commie is now just a bad word, I've learned (from listening to my parents) that people who throw the word around have no clue what it actually means.
Even worse, some simply equate socialism with communism. I'm a bit opposed to absolutely everything, but I can agree with you on the poor definitions of communist that fly around.
@harumph: The banning of truck nuts falls in line with the county officials acting in the "best interest" of its citizens. No sm