Project Car Hell: Summer of Love EditionS

On Friday Murilee gave you another example of his own personal Project Car hell, a freebie his cousin left for him in Wyoming. Cry me a river, Mrs. Mr. Martin. Oh, your free car is hard to fix? Boo hoo. We're so sad. Real hell involves spending hard earned money. That way, even when you're down to your second to last knuckle, third wife and seventh torque wrench, you're certain that with just a little more lovin' your baby will be back on the streets in no time. Sure, it's been five years, but you're getting your $1350 worth, dammit! But a free car? As Easy E once sang, "I'll throw it in the gutter and go buy another." Speaking of music and love, as Murilee is off tearing ass north of San Francisco in a [CENSORED], we're stepping in to present the Summer of Love edition of Project Car Hell. Oh, did we say love? Pick either of today's choices and it can only be the summer of HELL!!!!

Hey, when's the last time you saw an Alfa Romeo Giulia SS? And this one is an absolute steal at $1,500. Or, we should say, would be a steal, only the seller is asking ten times that. Yup, for $15,000 you can be the proud owner of a 1967 Giulia. Talk about counter culture. And you will really be the only kid on the block with a car like this, since Alfa stopped making Guilias in 1965. But who are we to argue with Craig's List? The body looks straight enough, at least half the chrome is visible, and while the seller admits it will need "some restoration," he wants you to know that it, "COULD BE MADE DRIVABLE WITH AS LITTLE AS A FRESH TANK OF GAS." Piece of freedom pie, man. What could possibly go wrong with a DOHC hemispherical Italian 4-banger that's been garaged in Dallas for the last two or so decades? Exactly, nothing. Just add gas and go. But you had better hurry if you want a slice of the freedom pie, as the "elderly architect owner" is moving to China. Maybe you can meet him half way, in HELL!!!

Not so fast. Perhaps you want more of a challenge. Something more involved than just adding fresh gas. In that case brother, have we got the car for you. It's a 1967 Chevy Impala droptop, and it can be yours for the low, low price of $6,000. Which is almost two thirds cheaper than that high-falutin Alfa. Just a few minor points. The Impala has "minor rust." And the owner cut the floor boards out. But has new ones ready to be welded in. See? He did all the hard work for you. There's a small "dint" on one of the quarter panels, but that'll buff right out. We're not sure which quarter panel, as the owner was too preoccupied with floor board removal to pull the blue tarp all the way off the car. But the two angles we can see look clean enough. Oh, the car needs a new interior (no doubt related to those pesky floorboards) and the 327 Corvette engine needs "fan valve covers" and a new intake. Also, the "oil spout is very dirty." While he doesn't mention the top by name, we're pretty sure that it's in pristine condition. Otherwise he would have said something, right? There is some good news though, "I have tissue box an accesorie mirror with colmb.two hoods 3 grills 2 gas tanks 2pairs of stock hub caps an one pair of wire hub caps with chevrolet spinner in the middle." Why, you'll have this baby humming, purring and ready for the 50th anniversary of Woodstock in less time than it took people to forget about the 40th. And if you think dirty, muddy, free lovin', brown acid eatin' hippies are hellascious, you don't know the meaning of the word. But you'll learn, in HELL!!!!

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