Photo: Craigslist

Bro, get your shit together and buy this turbo, narrowbody, purple Mitsubishi Starion. Each passing minute is as sand in an hourglass, only once all the sand is down at the bottom, instead of an hour having passed, it is your life that has passed you by, your Starion Life, your life of turbo boosted speed.

The Mitsubishi Starion is a car oddly lost in between time. We easily remember the Mitsubishi Eclipse and Mitsubishi 3000GT, the cars that followed it as Mitsubishi’s performance coupes, just as we remember the Mitsubishi Galant VR-4 and Mitsubishi Evos that followed the Starion as Mitsubishi’s general rally cars of choice.

And while we lionize 1980s performance coupes from Ford and Toyota with the Mustang and the Supra, we sort of forget about the ultra-blocky Starion.

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We should not. You should not.

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These cars can make modern-grade horsepower on boost from their early G54B big-four engines.

Moreover, this one is cheap ($1850) and it looks good (it’s narrow not widebody) and it’s manual (five-speed) and it’s purple (purple). It’s in SoCal, which should be pretty obvious from the sunbleached photos.

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It needs nothing but your right foot. Do not miss it.