Generally, the ads in car magazines tend to be pretty predictable: cars, parts for cars, liquids you pour into various holes in cars, and those big rubber floor mats that want to rescue your pants. In an old 1968 issue of the British car magazine Autocar, though, is what I think may be the least-expected car-magazine ad, ever.
Keep in mind that this issue is also a guide for the Earls Court International Motor Show in London. So, amidst the various guides to all the new cars being shown, where to find all the accessory-makers and badge-bar-sellers, we find this ad:
Ah, yes, Pigmanship! I know you probably picked up the magazine to read the review of the Aston Martin DBS or maybe to see if Daimler had anything new this year, but you can’t deny the draw of that pig face when you turned that page!
What late-’60s Englishman didn’t long to exhibit superior pigmanship? And this can all be learned from a 28-page free booklet? Fucking hell, this is astounding.
Actually, this whole page is full of incredible offers; you could read that book to really perfect your pigmanship, then get yourself a crankshaft grinding machine, train the pig to grind cranks, set up shop, and celebrate by buying yourself the finest pair of kangaroo-skin driving gloves known to man! Hell, grab a pair for the pig, too!
The issue also has a nice little reminder of how Britain saw American cars at the time:
Hey! They think it’s less vulgar! Dodge should have used that in their ad campaign:
Dodge Charger. Less vulgar, almost handsome.
That would have sold some cars to some of those on-the-go pigmen I’ve heard so much about.