This Chart Will Show You What Car Is Equivalent To What Halloween Candy

Hot damn, everybody, it’s Halloween! That one night a year when it’s acceptable to wear your S&M gear outside and threaten people to give you candy without the freaking police getting all up in your shit. I realize that for many of our loyal readers, Halloween is a difficult holiday because it’s often so hard to evaluate your haul of candy without an automotive reference. Well, as always, I’m here to solve your problems, so please accept this chart of Halloween candy to car equivalence. You’re welcome.

You’ll probably want to print this out and take it with you, so here’s a link to the full size version. Or you can just check it out right here:

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That helps, right?

Of course, it’s not as comprehensive as we’d like, so I encourage everyone to stick their own candy-to-car equivalents in the comments here, and savvy trick-or-treaters can just scroll through the comments to find the answers they need.

Happy Halloween, pals!

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)