Thanks A Load, NASA, Now Cars Will Rust On Mars

Illustration for article titled Thanks A Load, NASA, Now Cars Will Rust On Mars

Dammit, NASA. Here we are thinking the arid, cold wasteland of Mars would be a perfect place to one day store and enjoy all our vintage cars, free of all the old-car hazards of earth, and then you had to go and find salt water, of all things. That’s going to destroy all our old shitboxes.

Advertisement

Mars, with its lack of a DMV, heavily-patrolled roads, restrictive import laws, or even emissions regulations, seemed like a heaven for all of us old-car hoarders. We figured it’d just be a few years before we could load all our cars up into pressurized cylinders, rig up some crude sort of oxygen-supply system for the carbs, and head out on some Aldrin-cycler ship and start a glorious new car-filled life on Mars.

And then you had to find salt water.

Here we thought would be the ideal, desert-arid environment to keep cars alive — like the US Southwest, but without the insane Craigslist sellers. But now that there’s salt water around, we just know everything’s going to rust into a pile of crap as soon as we land.

Thanks a lot, NASA. Would it have killed you to find some rivers of gasoline instead? Would that have been too goddamn hard?


Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.

DISCUSSION

ccpbb
CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist)

How about going electric on Mars? No need to ruin the environment like what we have in ours