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Ten Cars With A Case Of The Angles

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Like a teen disguising his acne on Facebook with a closeup of his bicep, automakers use photographic misdirection to improve ungainly-looking vehicles. It's called "The Angles" and with your help we've outed ten cars suffering from this condition.


This is Answers of the Day — where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's "Question Of The Day". It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers.

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10.) 2010 Ford Taurus

Suggested by: Rick Lyon

Why It's Got the Angles: The 2010 Taurus shows an attitude not seen in the previous generation Taurus, which looked like a sad chubby kid. It's leaner and more muscular than its predecessor. But just like a body builder, the car seems too large in certain areas and unattractive in others.

9.) Nissan Juke

Suggested by: PipeSmokingVolvoDriver

Why It's Got the Angles: How cute, a small sport utility vehicle. It doesn't look too bad either; I mean it has quirky styling, but it looks like a miniature Murano. It actually looks quite appealing until you get to the dealer and see the rest of the car. Miniature Murano with incorrect proportions, but the ugly is exacerbated by the hideous front fascia. It just looks like a mischievous little troll.


8.) 2011 Subaru WRX STI Sedan

Suggested by: humjaba

Why It's Got the Angles: I hate to admit this, but the new WRX STI sedan overuses sharp angles. The front view of the Subaru is classic and incorporates the hood scoop into the hood quite well. In fact, the sedan is nearly exactly the same as the wagon that was released in 2008. Then you get to the rear of the car and you realize that Subaru just chopped the D pillar and tried to mush up the rear to make it look like something. They should have spent more time with the clay shaping up that atrocious rear end.


7.) 2011 Hyundai Sonata

Suggested by: fhrblig

Why It's Got the Angles: The Sonata is moving away slowly from the bland standard created by the Camry with the help of some snails. We even found the rendering for the 2011 Sonata sexy. A look at the rear reveals a sporty and aggressive look, something that says I like to growl and go fast. The front, however, says "are you going to eat that?"


6.) Ferrari 458 Italia

Suggested by: Cheeseslap spanks his ACR for being good

Why It's Got the Angles: The 458 Italia was designed and optimized for high speeds with low drag and from the side the beauty of that design shows. The 458's crisp lines and the wide body give the car a powerful and menacing look, like it's meant to go fast. Then you view the nose of the beast and it's got a little moustache. I know the wings are meant to produce downforce at speed and perform other trickery, but they look quite strange. Then there's the shape of the headlights. They look like the designer was rounding out the bottom curve and then hiccupped. It doesn't matter how strange the front looks because this car goes like nothing else.


Photo Credit: Paul Williams


5.) 2011 Jaguar XJ

Suggested by: JonZeke

Why It's Got the Angles: After 40 years, Jaguar decided to something entirelyy different with the new XJ. Good for them. It follows the same design language seen in the XF and is quite a striking to car to view from the front. It looks like everything you want in a luxury sedan. However, further inspection reveals that its proportions are just slightly off; it's too big. To make things worse, the rear is a ghastly sight. The curvature of the trunk and the dissonance created by adding sharp lines confuses and displeases us.


4.) 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Coupe

Suggested by: UncleBenny

Why It's Got the Angles: The CTS-V coupe is all muscle up front with its massive grills and bulging hood scoop. Its angularity and the sharpness of its lines help it to look like a lean, mean go-fast machine. But that ass is something only a few select people can love. There's too much of it and that cusp the rear CHIMSL seems out of place, like a growth almost. No matter, the bellowing sound that comes out of its twin exhaust pipes is enough to make one melt.


3.) Porsche Panamera

Suggested by: Jagvar

Why It's Got the Angles: The Porsche Panamera screams classic Porsche styling. It has all the right lines and curves and reminds one of a 911. Looking dead on you'd almost think it's a 911. And then you expand the picture and realize the Panamera is just too long and the rear end looks like an insect, a katydid perhaps.


2.) Ferrari California

Suggested by: RX-Elise

Why It's Got the Angles: Ferrari's small roadster has been missing for quite some time until the release of the California. From the side the California has all the right lines and curves, swooping and flowing like the wind that passes through your hair. Good thing this car has the F430's V8, because you'll rather people see your taillights than the front. Depending on the angle it either looks like it's up to something, with a strange smile and downturned brows, or some sort of bottom-feeding fish.


1.) E65 BMW 7 Series

Suggested by: philaDLJ

Why It's Got the Angles: The E65 7-series follows classic BMW design. The two classic BMW squares form the ideal sedan proportions. However, the infamous Bangle-butt ruins it all. The rear of the E65 suffers from the same problem that the Jaguar does. There are just too many conflicting and strange shapes that are off-putting.