Take Our Unusually Difficult And Strange Car-Haiku Quiz!

Illustration for article titled Take Our Unusually Difficult And Strange Car-Haiku Quiz!

A good while ago, I made a little quiz of car-based haikus, and I happened to find the old file when I accidentally knocked my hard drive over and spilled hot data all over my desk. The haikus were still pretty fun, so, what the hell, let’s do it again.

Just to refresh, the goal of the quiz is to guess the car that inspired the haiku. Haikus, of course, are based on the traditional Japanese poetic form, and I stuck to the ‘5 syllable/7 syllable/5 syllable’ rule for making these, so everything’s nice and legal.


Each haiku is referring to a specific model and make of car, like a Chevy Citation or a Simca Aronde or a Fiat 850. But not those.

Okay, you get it. Have at it!


Back in the big war

They made nothings in the sky

That’s not real water


Ersatz dead trees hug

My elegant doors and sides

A roof that hides away


Twin brother is from

Swiss mountains; I’m twice the car

I have fangs and stripes


Elegant machine

Named after a horse carriage

My badge has failed me


Awesome as a Brit

Just meh when American

I’m no prostitute


Slight caricature

Of former tiny glory

My, I’ve gotten big



Firm made me; three countries helped

First postwar beauty


Was big in Japan

Only three plugs to my name

They called me a lie


All bulls are not studs

Some of us have to get dirty

I wish I had curves


Halloween babies

Get this rock from quick little me

I’m something shark-like.

Good luck! I’ll post the official answers here in an update at 5:30 EST, so check back to see how you did.

UPDATE! I know I’m late. Here we go: 1. Mitsubishi Mirage. 2. Chrysler Le Baron/Town & Country Convertible 3. Sunbeam Tiger 4. VW Phaeton 5. Ford Escort 6. Any new MINI 7. Nash Healey 8. Daihatsu Charade 9. Lamborghini LM002 10. Opel Manta

Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.

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My first horrible guesses:

3. Shelby Cobra (edit: I knew this was wrong before posting it. MozziG has it.)

5. Ford Escort

6. Any Modern Mini

7. Isetta!

9. Lambo LM002

10. Hyundai Tiburon