Cars are very personal things. That’s why it feels so unsettling when you realize someone has been in your car, unknown and unbidden. It’s more personal than, say, trespassing on property. Of course, there’s degrees to how bad this can be. Finding your car, say, rifled through is no fun, but finding your driver’s seat slathered in mud is a lot worse, and I think we’d agree finding a confused naked dude in the trunk beats pretty much everything. I bet a TikToker named Bethany Coker may agree, since the last two things happened to her.
Because the Radio Shack TRS-80 Color Computers that run our website have yet to receive an upgrade to a full 64K, we can’t embed this woman’s TikTok videos detailing these events, so you’ll just have to click on them yourself, like some kind of filthy animal. My apologies.
Here’s the first one where she comes out to her mid-2000s Subaru WRX to find that the driver’s seat is absolutely slathered in mud:
Also, this appears to be a RHD Subaru! I thought TikTok may have reversed the video, but another one of her videos shows her fleet of three RHD Subarus! Hot damn, someone’s having fun. Coker is a certified mechanic, and has built a really delightful-seeming JDM car that she shows off here, just as an aside.
The woman’s poor seat is just caked with mud, and she’s understandably very confused. She does do a really satisfyingly good job of cleaning up that seat, though. Just look at the before/after here:
Whatever happened there, it seemed to involve someone wet and muddy getting inside her car and grinding around on that seat. That’s pretty alarming and disturbing, but I’m not sure even that would prepare you for what came next:
Yep, that’s a naked guy, in her trunk, talking to her via the behind-the-armrest pass-through to the trunk. She has a short conversation with the guy, which is recorded on her TikTok video. Here’s a transcript:
Bethany Coker: Why are you in my trunk, and are you naked?
Naked Dude: Yeah.
BC: (exasperated half-gasp, half-baffled chuckle)
ND: It’s a right of passage.
BC: ...to be? Uh, how did you get in there?
ND: I’m the son of the pope!
BC: What the fuck?
Yeah, that didn’t really clear up that much, other than confirming that the naked trunk-occupant may be dealing with a number of complicated issues of his own.
Also, I looked it up, and the current Pope does not appear to have any sons, naked or otherwise.
Even more confusing is that Coker states the man had been in her trunk since Saturday, and the TikTok was posted on Tuesday. So was this guy in there for about three days? What the hell?
Eventually, cops were called, and Naked Dude was escorted out of the trunk, and, hopefully, to somewhere where he could get help and ideally be convinced that hanging out naked in people’s trunks may not be the best way to spend his time.
I’m not sure what the takeaway is here, other than it’s always nice to see gearheads enjoying their cars and that if you’re a naked person who has an urge to hang out in a car trunk, make it a trunk you own, or at least get permission.
Also, don’t coat anyone’s seats with mud. That’s never cool.