Parking Lot Standoff Achieves Peak Pettiness

Screenshot: Lawrence Police Twitter page

Lawrence, Kansas police recently responded to a “road rage” call that quickly revealed itself as a pointless parking lot standoff between two people too childish to move out of each other’s way. The police department took to Twitter yesterday to describe the idiotic situation, and to dunk on the individuals involved.

The police in the home of the University of Kansas brought the memes in the amazing Twitter thread about the call that boiled down to just two people being really, really petty. The story begins with two police officers being dispatched to handle the dispute that occurred, according to local news channel Fox 4, on Wednesday:

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When they arrive on the scene, which is a parking lot, the officers find a standoff in progress, except not the kind with guns, but one involving two drivers refusing to get out of one another’s way.

The Lawrence Police is baffled:

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The PD gives the two drivers fake names, Karen and Chad. And upon talking with both of them, officers learn that even now that the situation has escalated to the point where police are present, neither will budge on this totally avoidable and silly predicament. “I got nowhere to go, I can just stay here all night,” is a quote the Lawrence Police attributes to Chad:

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Apparently Karen’s excuse is that her car is too big and that she’d crash it if she backed up. Lawrence Police finds this excuse laughable. “Karen is driving a *mini*van. Mini is emphasized because the van is not particularly large,” the tweet reads. “And if Karen can’t back it up, maybe Karen should refrain from driving.” That’s cold.

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A sergeant from the police department apparently shows up, learns what’s going on, and promptly gets the hell out of there. Chad still isn’t budging, saying he’d sit there “all night if [he has] to”:

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Then, after talking with Karen, and being asked to force Chad to move, the Police say no-can-do, and eventually just do what the sergeant did, and bounce.

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Karen and Chad could still be there in the parking lot, standing strong in their convictions. In their minds, they are heroes.

But only in their minds.

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About the author

David Tracy

Writer, Jalopnik. 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle, 1985 Jeep J10, 1948 Willys CJ-2A, 1995 Jeep Cherokee, 1992 Jeep Cherokee auto, 1991 Jeep Cherokee 5spd, 1976 Jeep DJ-5D, totaled 2003 Kia Rio