Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Crown Vic isn’t a Cop Car, but it plays one on TV. Well, not really, but it’s pretty damn close, and you’ll need to decide if its presentation and price makes it worth tuning in.

Dear Saab, all is forgiven, please come home. Also, bring bacon. Yesterday’s alluring 2006 Saab SportCombi really brought it home with adoration by both other Saab owners and brand-fans alike. Not only that, but the price proved a winner too, coming in with a massive 83% Nice Price landslide.

Speaking of home, have you ever been told to go big or go home? I wonder, as espoused by the Taco ad girl, why can't we have both? Today’s 2003 Ford Crown Vic is one of the biggest reasonably modern cars you could possibly find, and this one is seeking a new home.

Sumo wrestlers. They are fat, of that there is no question. They are also athletes, competing in one of the few sports - eating contests being another - where girth and heft bring advantage. Owing to its Sport badge, and the pretensions that brings to the table, this Panther platform Ford is a little like those wrestlers with the massive man boobs and the thongs.

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As noted, this Crown Vic is an LX Sport, a model that was available under that specific name from 2002 through 2006. It should be noted that this is NOT the P71 Police Interceptor, but instead the 41K Sport.

What makes it sporty? Well, the package included more capable suspension tuning, 17-inch bright alloy wheels, air suspension in back, dual exhaust, a 3.27 (non-LSD) rear end, and most sporty of all, bucket seats and a center console with floor shift. Oh baby!

This one, in Dark Toreador Metallic Red, looks to rock all of those pieces, as well as the standard 239-bhp 4.6 V8 and 4-speed automatic. Well, maybe not quite ready as that engine here looks like it could use a nice steam.

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The car also has the cool exterior button-entry door lock, which is a Ford exclusive and a feature that I think is the best thing since sliced bread. If you’ve ever parked your car at the airport or the beach and wanted to securely leave your keys behind, I think you’ll agree with my assessment.

The paint on this sub-100K CV looks good although the grille and surround are flat black and I think rightfully should be body color. The wheels look okay, but like yesterday’s Saab, they appear to have been intimate with a curb at least once.

The interior, in light grey leather and vinyl also seems to be in serviceable shape, and is big as a house. You might lament the fitment of the buckets in front as one of the cool features of the Crown Vic was its front bench seat (well, wide-ass split bench) on lowly models, one of the last cars to offer such a feature.

The ad notes that it’s a one-owner, non-smoker car and that the title and Carfax are clean. Production numbers on the Sport model were pretty limited, the 2003 run according to one source I found indicating fewer than 3,000 that year.

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Big, rear-wheel drive sedans aren’t exactly a thing of the past as you can still buy a Mercedes S-class or BMW 7-series, both of which are pretty freakin’ huge, but the traditional American sedan has pretty much gone the way of the Dodo and people who haven't seen Kim Kardashian's hoo-hah. This is a vestige of that past and a sporty one at that.

What does it cost to live that dream? Well, this one is asking $7,500 and it’s now time for you to decide - based on the info in the ad - whether that gets a thumbs up or down. What’s your take on this big Ford? Is $7,500 a price than gives it a sporty chance? Or, is that too much to take the Crown?

You decide!

Detroit Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Earl Snake Hips Tucker for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your Kinja handle.

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