Commenter Of The Day: GhettoFab Never Tasted So Good

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: GhettoFab Never Tasted So Good

Sometimes we just don't have the resources to accomplish our goals within traditional methods; so, as feral engineers, we must improvise. Today's win undoubtedly goes to Jstasmanian Debil — Cuban Gynecologist for his high quality recollection of just how he and his friend got a Camaro "race car" back to the shop with a little bit of backyard engineering and a massive dumpster hauler.

Reminds me of a 94 Camaro I picked up.

It was a Saturday morning. I was working for a friend at a diesel shop where we maintained a fleet of trash trucks (hey, extra money is extra money and it paid well!). Well, later that afternoon we were to go and purchase a 1994 Camaro that was someone's "racecar". His mom wanted it out of the garage and said if he didn't move the hulking pile of non-running junk, he was gonna hafta live in it. So we were gonna give him $1500 for it.

We had a truck and trailer all lined up and they bailed on us about an hour before we were supposed to get off for the day. So being the geniuses that we are, my friend throws me keys and says "Pull the Granite in the shop." He meant the Mack Granite chassis rolloff. Hauls a max of 220,000 pounds or something crazy like that.

Well boss man sees me pulling it in and asks what's up. My friend says "Oh, I picked it up earlier from the dump so Mike (the regular driver) could go home early and I noticed some shifting looseness. I wanted to check it out before it became a bigger problem." He says "Oh, ok. You gonna be here a bit then?" My friend says "Yeah, we'll lock up." Boss says "Alright, don't stay too late, it's a nice day." Then the boss leaves and we are there all alone.

My friend jumps in the truck, runs around the corner and picks up a 40 yarder and drops it in the shop. He breaks out the welder and I grabbed some scrap pieces of round stock we use for building hinges on dumpsters. He starts heating round stock with the torch and bends 4 U shapes and then cuts them off 3 inches high. We weld them in to the floor of the dumpster and he threw tie down straps in the back. He slams the dumpster shut and hauls it on to the rolloff. He pulls around front while I lock up the building and gates. He tells me "Jump in, we're gonna get a Camaro."

We pull up to the kids house and his mom doesn't know what to make of it. The car is in the backyard sinking in mud. So we drop the dumpster in the street and back the rolloff up the driveway and use the cable winch for the dumpster to get the car out on pavement so we can push it. His mom was worried the cable would break. My friend says "Lady, it yanks forty thousand pound dumpsters up on to the rails. A thirty five hundred pound Camaro stuck in the mud is hardly "taxing" for it."

Well we get the Camaro to the dumpster and push it in, tie it down and shut the door. My friend pulls around front, picks the dumpster up with the rolloff and yanks the whole mess right up on the rails. I hand the kid $1500 cash and get him to sign the title and we're off. As we were pulling away I see the kid's mom in stunned amazement on the front lawn saying "Holy sh...."

Unloading was the opposite of loading of course. I heated up the U's with a torch and used the 12 pound sledge to break the welds. Ground what was left down and painted in primer. Boss never knew and we got the Camaro, fixed it the next weekend and sold it for $4500.

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Sure beats some of the things we find in the dumpster back here in Detroit. I don't think that cheeseburger was any good and it's paying me back in spades.

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DISCUSSION

Wow! I'm honored! COTD for my "ghettofab" story!

What can I say?

Where's this jacket you speak of? I wanna know because I want to make sure that Gynecologist is spelled right and embroidered prominently in a place where many will see it. But I don't want a Cuban flag or anything on the jacket. It must be a Polish flag.

Unfortunately though, that story is about 5 years old at this point and I no longer work at the diesel shop. Had some good times there with creative recovery of equipment on the side of the road. Even learned how to rebuild a Cummins 855 without taking the engine out of the frame. Met some guys at the shop next door and eventually ended up on a race crew for a couple of drag radial cars. That turned south too because racers are bitchy but hey, live, learn, move on.

But thanks for the COTD. I never expected that to happen. Usually people like pres is Jalopnik Dolomite whine because it's "too long" or that they are "busy". If you're so busy, why are you surfing Jalopnik? So there! NYAH! Stick that in your hat and smoke it!