The Bugatti SUV, lurking in the shadows as we stray further from God’s light.
Image: Bugatti

The company once known for its 16-cylinder engines and speed limiters for its cars’ own good delivers the final blow, saying it, too, may add an SUV to its lineup. Thus, we all fall, clasping at the backstabbing, crossover- and SUV-driven puncture wounds from every automaker we once thought pure.

Bugatti typically has a small lineup, and it keeps in the news by putting out special editions and lifestyle collections. The Veyron, which Bugatti started production on in 2005, got that treatment before the 1,500-horsepower Chiron came around in 2016, becoming the equivalent of an ancient dragon in the car world by the time the company sold the last one in 2015—still a legend and able to destory anything in its path, yet, well, ancient.

But Automotive News Europe reports that Bugatti could expand its small lineup past the current offerings of the $3 million Chiron and $5.8 million Divo, but not necessarily with another low-to-the-ground, menacing supercar able to achieve speeds so high modern tires can’t handle them. Nope.

Bugatti president Stephan Winkelmann said at the Paris Auto Show that Bugatti could add an SUV to help “broaden its range,” according to Automotive News Europe. From the story:

Up for discussion are a range of chassis and engine variants, as well as an SUV that fits with the nameplate’s billionaire target audience, Winkelmann said.

VW Group’s ultraluxury brand currently makes different versions of the Chiron, and this week premiered the sold-out $5.9 million Divo supercar in Europe.

“The brand is ready for more,” said Winkelmann, whose Divo has a a 1,500-hp engine. “The W-16 engine is at the core of the brand today, but it won’t remain the heart forever.” [...]

An expansion at Bugatti, often mocked as a prime example of VW Group’s excessive engineering budgets during the manufacturer’s previous management, must be economically viable to go ahead, Winkelmann said.

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If Bugatti did make an SUV, it would join Lamborghini, Ferrari, Aston Martin—everyone, basically, except for McLaren, the one supercar company that hasn’t betrayed us yet. Alas, once a people whose children had posters of Gallardos on their walls, we are now a people with a Lamborghini SUV.

The wounds from the SUV-pocalypse once seared white hot, deep in our souls; they’re now numb burning sensation that flares up each time a new automaker announces it’s joined the dark side. But most of us are just poors whose supercar dreams are confined to posters, so our opinions don’t matter much in the long run.

Will we survive this pain long enough to see McLaren finally give in? Who’s to say. Will it sting with the pain of a mile-long paper cut, regardless? Definitely.