BMW Is Probably Behind All The Tension With North Korea

There’s an awful lot of nuclear saber-rattling and dick-measuring going on right now between the United States and North Korea. A nuclear conflict between the two countries would do no one any good. Well, almost no one.

Call this an unproven theory, call this the worst sort of conspiracy-theorizing, call it whatever you’d like, but, admit that you immediately considered this option: is BMW engineering this whole conflict to eliminate the tiny, shitty, North Korean vans and trucks that look a lot like tiny, shitty, BMW vans and trucks?

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The vans and trucks are variations of the Pyeonghwa Paso 990. Pyeonghwa is one of the two automobile makers (and dealer networks) in North Korea, and was a joint venture between a South Korean company and Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church. You may have heard of them as the Moonies.

Anyway, these little vans have front-end styling that uses kidney grilles just like BMW’s trademark grille. All of this is possibly BMW’s way of solving this problem.

Permanently.

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)