In The World According to Garp the titular character buys a house that has just had a plane crash into it, thinking that nothing more bad could happen there. Similarly, today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Z28 has been the victim of an angry girlfriend. What more could go wrong, right?
A lot of people said they’d buy yesterday’s 2004 Volvo V70R if it weren’t in Montreal which is apparently a made-up place like Oz or Sweet Valley High.
That desire was borne out in the wild 85% Nice Price win the car achieved, despite bearing the stigma of having seats the color and texture of blighted Florida citrus. A win like that no doubt made the seller very happy. Now let’s look at a car whose seller is probably carrying a big hairy bag of the sads.
William Congreve wrote in The Mourning Bride the immortal phrase “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” That gospel is proven true in physical form by today’s 1985 Chevy Camaro Z28.
According to the ad, which was posted by the seller’s cousin, the owner’s girlfriend flipped her shit over some transgression and took out her aggression on the car. That involved smashing windows and tail lights, breaking door handles and sideview mirrors, slashing seats and peppering the side with holes like it’s that Simpson’s episode, the whole nine yards. Now it’s pretty eff’d up and needs a lot of parts just to be legally drivable.
On the other hand, it looks like the effort that went into all the damage was some good cardio and I’ll bet the perpetrator got a decent upper-body workout out in the deal.
So, why the hell would you want a car that’s been so egregiously defiled, and that obviously comes with some seriously bad mojo? I mean, what if she’s still out there and doesn’t know that cousin poor choices sold it and decides to ring the bell for round two?
Well, under all the damage there’s apparently a lot of work that has gone into the car, notably up front, under that expressive raised hood. There you’ll find a 383 stroker rocking a 750-cfm Edelbrock 4bbl on top of a Weiand intake and farting out through a custom exhaust. The ad says it sounds grrrrrreat!
In addition to that roller rocker-equipped V8 there’s a shift kit for the four-speed automatic, an aluminum radiator and what’s described as “a lot of chrome.”
The interior is in need of a lot of clean up—and probably an exorcism—while the exterior needs the damage repaired and not much else. It does have T-tops which is a plus if you like T-tops.
There’s 171,000 miles on the clock, and a clean Washington state title to go along with it. All it needs is some lovin,’ and a promise never to do it wrong again. That promise will apparently cost $4,000.
What’s your take on this angry girlfriend modified Z28 and its $4,000 price tag? Is that a fair deal considering all the anger management that will need to go into it? Or, is this one relationship that you think should be avoided at all costs?
You decide!
Portland OR Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.
H/T to Highwindadvisory for the hookup!
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