Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Olds is named for a small sword that was once considered to be the sailor's weapon of choice. This Cutlass wagon's weapon happens to be a Buick V6, but will its price prove it to be a good choice as well?
Okay, I'm going to end the suspense up front and let you know that, should you really be a true Jalop (meaning you know the secret handshake and have memorized the VIN number of Jason's bug), then you're really going to like this Olds, in concept at least. It is after all, an amalgamation of two of our very favorite things, and no I'm not talking about free beer and Allison Brie gifs.
No, this 1983 Olds Cutlass Cruiser is like the holy grail of mashups, that being of a sensibly sized longroof body and... a Buick Grand National drivetrain. Hey! Stop drooling and get your hand out of your pants, this is a family show!
So, as noted, in concept this is a pretty bad motor scooter. What we need to find out however, is whether its execution meets mettle with its asking price, which we'll get to in just a bit. First though, let's look at the specs. This Cutlass is clean as a bean, and rocks a claimed 67,000 miles on it always garaged clock. That means there's no rust, no apparent dings or dents or brightwork boogers, and the ruby slippers interior - resplendent in (small r) regal velour - is still a classy place to be. Plus there are oh so many gauges in there.
The G-body wagons were body on frame and this one's so clean it could still be the '80s down there. That includes the Buick GN 3.42:1 posi rear end which supports the longroof's rear end on coils with airbag helpers and modded locators. The ebay ad notes that gear changes are handled by a built TH400 that has not one, but two coolers, and is actuated through a floor-mounted ratchet shifter so middle seat passengers beware.
It's what's under the hood that's this car's real deal and that's what's claimed to be a rebuilt Buick 3.8 turbo V6, late one of that brand's hot Gs. Owing to the lack of a distributor this one looks to be an '84 or newer mill, and has had a lot of work put into it before it was put into the car. That includes billet main caps, a bored and decked block, 60-pound injectors, and a big-ass intercooler. Also, while you might think that B&B means a quaint vacation destination with doilies, here that stands for balanced and blueprinted. All the work is said to have been done by a company called Weber Racing, of somewhere in Ohio.
How does it all work together? Well, check out the video below and see.
Hey, hand! Out of! Pants! What did I tell you? The ad says that this car itself was assembled by a retired engineer who also happens to be a G-body fan. Hopefully, being a retired engineer and all, he's not also a g-string fan. Eww.
What are the down sides of this build? Well, in spite of everything else looking top notch, the back bumper - which was shared with the El Camino which we love too - seems to be missing its plastic under-snood. Also all those gauges mean there's no place for the radio so your mornings might become a little less eclectic driving this beast. That's all I can pick out on this car and I think that the over all presentation, including the bad ass Buick alloys, more than makes up for those minor issues.
But does it all add up to $15,000 worth of fun? That's the question, and the price which I told you we'd eventually get around to. What do you think, is this G-wagon that's a bigger sleeper than Rip Van Winkle worth fifteen grand to own? Or, is this a custom Cutlass whose price just doesn't cut it?
You decide!
eBay, or go here if the ad disappears.
H/T to SJ for the hookup!
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