You're Not Taking This Woman's Car, Asshole

Illustration for article titled You're Not Taking This Woman's Car, Asshole

Have you ever read a story about someone’s car getting carjacked and thinking how that would never happen to you, because you’re such a badass you’d hang on to that car until the carjackers gave up? Well this woman from Milwaukee is the sort of badass in the real world that you are in your head.

Melissa Smith is from Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, and she must really love her Subaru Outback, because when a carjacker sneakily entered her car and attempted to drive off, Smith jumped on the hood and didn’t get off until the carjacker gave up and bolted.

The failed carjacking happened as Smith was buying gas. A Cadillac pulled up alongside the Subaru, and the carjacker snuck out, crouching between the cars until he made it to the Subaru’s door.

Smith told WISN 12,

“(I) didn’t see him til I saw him get into my car. Someone was in my car. And my, ‘Oh, hell this isn’t happening to me today’ moment.”


Of her decision to jump on the car’s hood, Smith told the station,

“I had the thought in my head. ‘Do I go after my purse or do I stop my car?’ And the price tag of my car flashed through my head.”

The carjacker saw Smith on the hood and laughed at her, attempting to knock her off by braking hard. Laughs on him, though, as he had to bolt away like a dipshit, and Smith still has her car.

Smith freely admits her actions weren’t exactly the safest or smartest, but she has her Subaru, and some dipshits don’t. I’d call that a victory.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:

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It should go without saying that the value of your life is always greater than the value of your car, but some people need to be reminded. She was lucky.