Your Most Satisfying True Stories Of Revenge In Cars

CountersteerYour true stories of good and bad things that happen in cars.

Man, are you guys a bunch of wrathful bitches.

Last week, I asked you for the most satisfying car revenge you’ve ever experienced. Did a cop intervene on some road-raging asshole at just the right moment? Or did you take matters into your own hands? Were you hero that the road deserved, but not the one it needed?


Sixteen-hundred replies later, consider my wrath fire stoked.

The Serious Karting Men Are Here (Ghoulardi)

These are the guys I’m talking about!

Rural Living (The Rheal Jim Beau)

Strike three!

Mileage (GoesLikeHell)

This one was pretty cute.


Knowing The Road (ChoochCharlie)

When you know and they don’t.


Hit-And-Run (Esvenk)

Left at the scene of the crime.


The Old Switcheroo (elRobRex)

Hey, don’t steal. It’s really easy.


Giant New Yorkah (dmara00)

Show me this giant. I wish to befriend him.


Get Wet (wikidone)

Probably pronounced it “Porsch,” too.


Careful Who You Brake-Check (SmalljawAngler)

Sometimes it can come back to bite you.


BMW: Be More Wary (ToastedTires)

Oh, hey, it’s you again.


Fifty Bucks (E-P)

Worth it?


Towed (caffeinegeek)

Meltdown ensued.


Not Your Personal Lane (Bigger Putz)

The lane of shame, more like.


Deadlift (ThatGuyFromThere)

Who says gym skills aren’t applicable elsewhere? (Nobody.)


Shopping (Recovering Saabaholic)

I would have gone to shop some more.


Spit (J-A-H)

Spit on me? I’ll douse the inside of your car.


My! Spot! (Le Monjello)

“I also took my whiskey.”


Fifty-Five Miles (MercenaryDandy)

Playing the long game.


Mom, I Need A Ride (Dr. Wheuss)

The truck’s broken or something.


Beauty Is Pain (endusone)

But for God’s sake, don’t put on makeup in the car!


Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.



My best revenge is probably one of the simplest ones that happened probably around 10 years ago now. I was in my 1998 Subaru Outback, driving 450 miles home from college. There was a guy in a brand new, beautiful, black 911 Turbo, who I could see weaving around cars behind me cutting through traffic (two-lane highway with light traffic.) I was on cruise control, and was in the left lane passing a few slower cars. 911 dude comes RIGHT up on my ass, so close that I can’t see the front bumper, making a point that I am holding up his entire life as I pass, like, 4 cars (I was doing 75 in a 70 zone).

At that precise moment, the Gods smiled upon me, and I was presented with a 2-foot-long piece of 4x4" wood lying right in the middle of my lane. My revenge merely required me to temporarily floor my car, gaining both of us a few extra MPH before I drove right over it. I heard the loudest smash noise as it slammed into his bumper, shattering the lower portion of the bumper, and skittering across the highway. He immediately swerved onto the shoulder.