Hey car-loving Onanists! I have exciting news: finally, you can combine your love for cars with your love for self-love, and have it pay off, bigtime. That’s because wank-fodder giant YouPorn is running a contest where you can design a wrap for their Lamborghini, and win a trip to London.

The contest has just started, so there’s hardly any designs submitted yet, which is great news for you, talented masturbator, because you could easily come up with the look that wins the “$5K Prize Value” package: a flight to London (oddly, they don’t mention a flight back home), a one-night stay in an as-yet undetermined hotel, and then you get to attend the unveiling of your design, as well as getting driven around in the YouPorn Lambo.


Here’s how YouPorn describes the challenge:

We’re looking for high-quality designs that are G-rated and “safe for work”. Submit your exciting, original, unique or eye-catching design ideas for a car that is fit for one of the biggest adult entertainment sites in the world. Read the submission guidelines.

So, you know, no actual pornography can be used. They’re also providing a ‘startup kit’ that has YouPorn’s logos and a couple of pictures of the car, or, at least in this case, what is clearly a toy version of the Lamborghini that you can use to template your design.


Once your design is selected (and I’m certain it will be), “celebrity car customizer Yannimize” will “turn your concept into reality,” which, since you did the design, I guess means printing out the big vinyl sheets and then having their team wrap the car with them.

You may as well, enter, right? You can enter up to six entries, so get cracking! Here’s the link to the startup kit, and you can see all the rules and submission guidelines here.


I have a sample design up there, but I’m not entering. I would, however, be delighted to find that a loyal Jalopnik reader claimed this glorious honor. If you do, let us know so we can cover your voyage of wonderment in full.