Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet

All photo credits: Hemmings, where this 1979 concept car is up for sale out of Arroyo Grande, California
All photo credits: Hemmings, where this 1979 concept car is up for sale out of Arroyo Grande, California

You may have been looking for me. I am not there. I am away, here, secluded at my Space House living on the Ghia Planet.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet

I drive my pod wherever I need to go. It is like the cars you have on your planet, but different. It rides on the Fox platform. With your Earth eyes, this would be a Mustang.

Advertisement

Here on the Ghia Planet it is the Probe 1. You see this as a Cobra-spec 170 horsepower 2.3-liter turbocharged four. I see it as an air-and-fuel power generation device, just what I need to make my daily trips here in the calm alien air.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet

Your home world is so full of turbulence. So many little turrets and gargoyles sticking out of your buildings, your cars, your ears. Our surfaces are unbroken here. Nothing is disturbed. There is no chaos, only calm quietude.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

Little spats to cover our wheels. Flip-down headlights to cheat the wind.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

We hush from home to home, low-water flowering bushes whooshing in our wake.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

It was not always this way. The Ghia Planet was once like your home world. We, too, had our unnecessary lines and touches. We had our crests and blunt fronts that you still hold so dear. But the Crisis came six years ago and our waste was no longer affordable. We saw our folly. We rationalized.

Now we live cleaner lives, more scientific lives. We live Ghia lives.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

Don’t you love how the twilight falls through the windows all around? Everything is so unobstructed here, so clear with purpose.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

The great tone is sounding over the hill, now. We have all consumed enough air and food and fuel today. I must fire up Probe I and drive myself back to my dwelling.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

Have I said that I am old now? I can feel age in my bones. I can feel them getting brittle. One night I will sleep and not wake, and the planet will find a new use for me. There will be an opening here, then, and you will be welcome to take my place.

Illustration for article titled You Can Find Me Here On The Ghia Planet
Advertisement

Don’t you want this peace? You too can live this way. Just reach out to the good people at Scott Grundfor Co. They can show you the path.

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

AndySheehan-StreetsideStig
Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig

From the Kansas City Art of the Car Concours, 2015. I knew I recognized this thing. Note the wild handbrake.