Where Did You Get Your Automotive Dogma?

Illustration for article titled Where Did You Get Your Automotive Dogma?

Yesterday, the Postfather hipped all us Jalops to the very real possibility that Cadillac's next CTS-V will come packin' 600 Horsepower. The collective response was, "Yawn, me want an M5." Then, ole Werty Wert put up a post about the new Shelby Super Snake with 725 fucking horsepower! The second response was actually, "yawn." Only our Canadian buddy Danio3834 came to both of these insane machines' defense. But I am not praising Danio. Why? Because I've heard him say too many times that he wouldn't pay for an M5 or an RS 4 because they don't have Chevy small blocks. And yes I'm half-Canadian, so according to the Provincial Fairness Act I can single him out. More to the point, we're all guilty to some degree of motorized fundamentalism.


In high school I remember the Chevy goons yelling "Fucked On Race Day" at the Ford goons. Which is why to this day I'm put off by both Chevelles and Mustangs. Before I was born, my folks moved from St. Louis to California and in transit my mother's Falcon didn't like the 14,000 foot elevation in the Rockies. My earliest memory of my father is him telling me how awful Fords are. And the first girl who ever broke my heart drove a red '65 Mustang Convertible. All that said, I'm probably going to stick the Shelby GT500 in the Fantasy Garage, because it is that friggin' awesome. But in the back of my mind... My mother tried a different approach. To this day she will not buy a German car because of the Holocaust. She can afford any car, but refuses to even look at the Germans. Luckily, I have memories of my father after we finished test driving a 740iL saying, "BMW didn't make ovens." How about you; where does your orthodoxy spring from?


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Blue Devil Caddy: A 600-hp Cadillac CTS-V?; The 725 HP Shelby GT500 Super Snake Can Be Yours For Just $72,000!; Question Of The Day: What's In Your Car? [Internal]

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When I was a wee lad, my favorite car in the whole wide world was a 1957 Chevy BelAir. I have no idea why, but I have a poster of it in my room I got when I was 8 as well as a jigsaw puzzle I've been meaning to bust out again. When the C5 Corvette came out, it supplanted my beloved 'Air as the greatest thing in the world that I would lust after in my 4th grade math class (there, you can figure out how old I am now). I didn't know anything about German cars except that Benzes were expensive, and the only Japanese cars I ever saw were boring old Camrys, Civics, Accords, and Corollas, so I hated Jap cars with a passion.

Luckily I've gotten over that now, but all the hatred for American cars that I started picking up on around 6th grade subtly influenced me and brought down GM's amazingness in my mind, but not the 'Vette's...or for that matter, the Bel-Airs. That's why today you can see me defending almost any kind of sports car, regardless of national origin or price. Automotive racism in the sense that "z0mgALL AMERrRRCAN CARZ SUKC!!11one!~1" pisses me off, and if the car is truly bad (Corolla, HHR, X3, etc.) then it shouldn't be because it came from Offenbach or Auburn Hills.

I like everything, so I guess I'm too nice/boring of a car enthusiast.