What's The Worst Feeling Thing That Happens While You're Driving?

Illustration for article titled What's The Worst Feeling Thing That Happens While You're Driving?
Screenshot: Opel

There’s always a bit of a dilemma when it comes to finding engaging things to talk about. There’s an urge to be positive in one’s life; to focus on the good and uplifting. But then there’s the undeniable draw of the shitty, the pure, all-consuming joy of really bitching about something you don’t like. That’s why comics so rarely have bits about how effective spoons are, or whatever. So let’s do some complaining now, specifically about what feels worst while you’re driving.

“Worst” can cover a lot of ground. A miscalculated fart that ends up being more, um, productive, while driving is a viable candidate, for example. But so is that feeling when you’ve been driving forever on a long, boring night highway and you do that rapid panic-jerk as you realize you almost fell asleep, and you drive in an adrenaline-fueled terror for the next five minutes until you do it all over again. That’s terrible, too.

Then there’s the feeling of being on a highway with no shoulder and feeling/hearing/smelling something going very wrong in your car, and you have to painfully nurse it to the nearest place you can pull off, knowing every foot you drive is increasing how expensive/how much work it’s going to be to fix by a factor of, oh, ten.

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I know there’s more. Lots more. So let it out in the comments, pals, get it out. Bitch, piss, moan, winge, whatever. Let’s do it.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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DISCUSSION

You’re on a two lane road with a ~50mph speed limit. You’re driving a car with moderate-to-low ground clearance and you’re behind, say a pickup, at a safe distance mind you. The truck in front of you passes safely over an object in the middle of the lane like a rock or roadkill or something without braking or swerving. You have no warning. There’s an oncoming car in the other lane. The shoulder is too soft and steep for your speed. You have only one option and that’s to hope you can pass safely over this obstruction. You grit your teeth, your ass puckers up to your bellybutton and your bank balance/insurance coverage flashes before your eyes...