It's Christmas Eve and, if you're anything like us, you're trying to avoid doing any work. Instead of chatting up the receptionist, give us your thoughts on what Santa would drive.

Though we like the idea of classic American metal, as shown above, we're actually thinking a bit more practically. It needs to be fast enough to get around the world in seconds. It needs to be able to hold presents for the good and, even more ridiculously, coal for everyone else. It also needs to be reliable enough to make it through visits to a million homes. Also, the cockpit needs to be able to hold a portly man on a cookie and whole milk binge. Clearly, the answer is an Audi RS6 Avant.

It's a wagon, with room for Hannah Montana DVDs and coal. The cabin was designed for portly Germans, easily holding old St. Nick. Fast? That puppy features a Lambo twin-turbo V10 propelling the heavy wagon to Audi R8-level quarter-mile and 0-62 times. Plus, it looks freaking cool.


Frohe Weihnachten, Pelznickel!

Photo Dossey's Diversions