Are you that special kind of car enthusiast that doesn't require your car to do things like turn or brake? Do front sway bars just get in the way? Do you like tuna with no crust? Yes, yes, and hell yes? Well, it looks like last week's eBay challenge was meant for you. Here are ten cars that will do their best to break ten seconds.
10. 2004 Yamaha FZ1 With Turbo
A liter bike is one of the fastest vehicles you can buy, bar none. But with depreciation and the fact that much of western society doesn't really have any sense of imminent danger anymore, you can pick one up and do something absolutely crazy like put a turbo on it for not much money at all. That means you can do wheelies at 120 mph and the quarter mile in well under 10 seconds. Change of underwear not included.
(Suggested by TheGrackle)
9. 1971 Chevy Camaro
Sometimes life gets in the way. And sometimes you wait for it to get in another person's way to get a really cool car for next to nothing. This 1971 Camaro is a prime example of that very principle. Here are a few reasons this car should be in your high-speed short list, according to Roadster Man:
This monster checks all the right boxes:
-It's a sweet sleeper Camaro
-500 cubic inch new crate engine, making over 800 HP if the ad it to be believed
-New transmission
-New Ford 9" rear end
-Weld-in cage
-Runs on 112 octane race fuel brah
-Hoosier slicks brah
-It weight 3200 lbs without the driver! And it's a big ass Camaro!
Looks like the only missing things are a proper harness and HANS device. I want this thing.
(Suggested by Roadster Man)
8. 1978 Buick Regal
This Buick Regal would be one hell of a sleeper, if not for the dead-giveaway racing slicks and flamboyant interior gauges. By the seller's estimation, the car has 550 horsepower to the rear wheels, which should translate into a quarter mile time of a brand new Ferrari - for the price of a used (and probably broken) Honda Civic.
(Suggested by BenLikesCars)
7. 1972 Dodge Charger 400 SE Brougham
A Dodge Charger is, and always will be, a welcome sight at the drag strip. This Charger in particular has a V8 with a posi-traction rear end, but it's priced so far under budget that you could likely get a firebreathing big block crate motor and drop it in without too much fuss, both physically and financially. Here's a real way to live out your Dominic Torretto fantasies without having to steal Panasonic DVD players for a living.
(Suggested by alecmets2011)
6. 1982 Chevy S10
Here's a Chevy S10 that's completely impractical for towing, hauling, taking passengers anywhere, or getting anywhere near manageable gas mileage. It has low ground clearance and isn't actually very aerodynamic. But it will run a 9.3 at 148 mph in the quarter mile, and that just makes it better than any of the pickups that can't do that. Race trucks are best trucks.
(Suggested by JasonH, americanmuscle, Over9000rpm)
5. 1985 Monte Carlo
What's more intimidating than a sub-10 second car with an enormous hood scoop, painted in a pinkish purple hue? This Monte Carlo is a true modern, no leaf-springs, classic muscle car, modified to absolutely haul ass one quarter mile at a time. It even has the OEM faux woodgrain on the dash, for that classy look.
(Suggested by DisplacementForDayz)
4. 1972 Datsun 240z
The basic formula of a hot rod is tiny car, huge engine, and this '72 Datsun doesn't aim to fix what obviously isn't broken. Shoehorned into this tiny Japanese shell is a 355 cubic inch Chevy V8, with a healthy shot of nitrous, so you can "too soon, Junior" all over everyone's face at the track.
(Suggested by alecmets2011)
3. 1987 Yugo GV With Thundercat 900 Snowmobile Engine
We've all been there - sitting at home on a Friday night, wanting to go out to the track with your friends, but all you have is an old snowmobile and a Yugo. I've seen it a million times. Someone apparently put 2 and 2 together to make the most odd combination of "awesome" and "why the hell would you do that" ever. According to the seller, the car is capable of an 11-second pass. Let's hope the gas cap lid stays on.
(Suggested by alecmets2011)
2. Smart ForTwo With Any Engine Swap
A Smart car, by itself, sucks. Its asthmatic 3-cylinder engine leaves more to be desired than a first-day unpaid intern demanding retirement benefits. You can find one relatively cheaply, but swapping in an engine may not be the easiest thing in the world. You can blow the budget and install a Hayabusa engine with a turbo, or you can do like the guy in the video did and go with a Toyota Paseo 4-cylinder engine with an insanely high pressure supercharger. If you do the work yourself, you might be able to squeak by under budget, but only just. At the very least, it's the cheapest car you can buy that will do wheelies on the street, on command.
(Suggested by ApolloAudio)
1. Fritz Rear-Engined Dragster
This is the real deal. It will do 8.5 seconds at 155 miles per hour in the quarter mile. That means that it will out-accelerate a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport for the price of a salvage title Kia Optima. It's the ultimate weekend toy, and I don't know of anything that would be more fitting at the track than a bona fide dragster with a for-realsies parachute. It's terrifying and fast, and the best damn value for your quarter mile buck.
(Suggested by BigNSlow)
For more awesome eBay challenges, check these out:
Tavarish is the founder of APiDA Online and writes about buying and selling cool cars on the internet. He owns the world's cheapest Mercedes S-Class, a graffiti-bombed Lexus, and he's the only Jalopnik author that has never driven a Miata. He also has a real name that he didn't feel was journalist-y enough so he used a pen name and this was the best he could do.