What Car Would You Vote For President?

Illustration for article titled What Car Would You Vote For President?

Even though the news media seems to have been completely ignoring it, I recently found out that the United States is holding some sort of “election” for their new Prime Minister. Wait, no, President. So, with that in mind, what car would you most like to elect President of the United States?

Let’s say that for a car to be qualified, it needs to meet the same standards as a human president: at least 35 years old, and of American manufacture. We want something that’s going to be capable of leading a diverse nation, and something with that right, ineffable quality we call “presidential.”

Plus, it has to be able to hold its own on the international stage, alongside dignified Mercedes-Benz Pullmans from Germany and sleek Ferraris from Italy, for example.


My first thought was that I’d love to see a Corvair elected to this nation’s highest office, but then I realized that was just a pipe dream. A radical car like that has no chance of getting elected, especially with that vicious “Unsafe at any Speed” campaign.

Since that’s unlikely, I think I’d like to see a nice 1966 Oldsmobile Toronado elected. The Toronado is a fine upstanding American coupe, but, being a V8, front-wheel drive car, it also has an experimental, perhaps almost radical streak as well, which shows its not afraid to try something bold and new.

It’s got the crisp, athletic looks that would fit in well in any context, anywhere in the world, and that 7-liter V8 is a powerful reminder of American might. President Toronodo will lead America to incredible new heights, with torque steer!

Sorry for getting so political. Now’s your chance: what car would you like to see elected president?

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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The Corvmarostang. It’s a perfect politician: tries to please everyone, fails on all fronts.