What Car Would Be Most Likely To Help You Stay Alive In A Horror Movie?

A Plymouth Fury named Christine that can still run you down while on fire is probably not the best choice.
Screenshot: Richard Korbitz Production (YouTube)
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Allow me to set the scene. You’re home alone... or, well, you thought you were home alone, but now there’s some creepy noises and strange phone calls, and you’re pretty sure something else is here. Or you’re camping in the woods, and that blonde girl who took all her clothes off earlier is absolutely definitely dead. Maybe the zombie apocalypse is here, and you need a getaway vehicle to stow life’s essentials. Who knows! But, pal, your life depends on a car as your only method of escaping from [insert dangerous situation here]. You better choose wisely.

You might need something dependable that you know will start up every time you use it because the last thing you want is one of those desperate scenes where you’re trying to turn the key but the engine just won’t kick back to life. It should probably be something fast enough to outrun other creeps in cars or maybe even the occasional supernatural entity. It’d probably be a bonus if you had something that could handle all terrains—who knows if there’ll be an offroad chase scene or not!

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But, most importantly, it has to be cool. Just because you might turn out to be nothing but slasher film fodder doesn’t mean you can just completely ignore the importance of good aesthetic choice. The cooler the car, the higher the chance at survival. Unless, of course, your car is haunted. Make sure you don’t pick a haunted car.

Readers of Jalopnik, what would you choose? And how can you justify that it will help keep you alive?

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About the author

Elizabeth Blackstock

Staff writer. Motorsport fanatic. Proud owner of a 2013 Mazda 2.