I was having one of those mornings where the coffee was weak, the office was empty, and I had stayed up too late last night watching private jet flights on YouTube. I needed a pick-me-up, something to inspire me to do the work that I do here—which is try to get you all to click on The Cars Blogs on Jalopnik’s Facebook and Twitter (please, friends).

I needed the Eurobeat, you see. And after listening to it from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. today, I’d like to report that it worked, and that it’s the best shit ever written.

Look at this:

Hot Hot Racin’ Car by Go2

We like crazy nights

We like to start the engine

Lets move story this down

Lets start this run

Picking up the speeding

Hot hot racin car

Three, two, one!

If there’s anything every single gearhead can agree on, it’s “We like to start the engine.”

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I’m Your Sexy Machine by Hotblade

Heartbeat and sweat, adrenaline

Leave’em baby up to me

I’ll be the doc for blood on fire

Magic spell you can’t deny

I like to imagine that the car is singing this to me.

King of the Road by Kaioh & Domino

Hey, I don’t know your name

It doesn’t matter

Tonight we gotta drive to the moon

Hey, now we can’t be late

They’re gonna top us

Gasoline into my blood

Drive to the moon!! Pour gasoline into your blood!!! Anything is possible in a car!!!

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Love for Money by Frank Torpedo

Dollars Dollars Golden Ladies

Money Money activiated

Love for money work for money

Work for money

“Money Money Activated,” is one of life’s many cheatcodes. Just say it in the mirror three times before bed each night and you will be fabulously wealthy.

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Space Fighter by Captain America

Baby I really got to be free

Space fighter

Because we live in a galaxy war now

Yes I’m gonna be tonight

Space fighter

I’ll be killing all the aliens

I never knew that going sideways would lead to me getting into an intergalactic war, but here we are.

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Moo Moo Dollars by Franz Tornado & Mad Cow Orchestra

Milk and cows tonight

Baby, shake me all around to feel the sound

“Hay - hay - hay, my gringo !”

Milk and cows I dream

In the little crazy farm, you feel alright

Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!

Moo moo dollars!

Baby, take me to the top

Get my brain on fire

Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!

Moo moo dollars!

Crazy cow dance to the rock

Jump over the wire  

I... am not sure about this one. Cows like cars, I guess.

In the Heart of Rome by Za-Za

Do you wanna go there with me?

Where the days are easy and where the nights are sweet... yes

Julius Caesar and the pope

Will drive us all round in a golden cab

Yes, please god. Let the Pope whip us around the streets of Rome in the Popemobile. Also Caesar is there for some reason.

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He probably would have loved drifting.

Dangerous Speed Cars by Luke

Dangerous speed cars

I’m in a mission

I got to moving fast

Feel the ride, the rush

The way I tease the clutch

Dangerous speed cars

Are like my woman

With curves like jaguar

And the way you purr at me

Give me the speed

I think Luke wants to fuck his car.

I Love My Dog by Vivi

Baby get me right - I love my dog

There’s no need to fight - My puppy dog

Nothing’s ever coming between you and me

There’s no compromise - I love my dog

How can you despise - My puppy dog

Do you think you’ll find us a place within your heart?

Yes. I will find a place in my heart for you and your dog. I promise.

Disney Mambo Number 5 by Derreck Simons

A little bit of Minnie in my life

A little bit of Mickey by her side

A little bit of Donald’s all I need

A little bit of Daiy’s what I see

A little bit of Pluto in the sun

Huey Dewey Louie can’t go wrong

A little bit of Goofy everyone!

A little bit of him makes life so fun

Why a Disney Eurobeat remix of Lou Bega exists anywhere on planet Earth, I will never understand.

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Special thanks to Eurobeat-prime.com for encyclopedic knowledge of all things Eurobeat and a SICK logo.