I was having one of those mornings where the coffee was weak, the office was empty, and I had stayed up too late last night watching private jet flights on YouTube. I needed a pick-me-up, something to inspire me to do the work that I do here—which is try to get you all to click on The Cars Blogs on Jalopnik’s Facebook and Twitter (please, friends).
I needed the Eurobeat, you see. And after listening to it from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. today, I’d like to report that it worked, and that it’s the best shit ever written.
Look at this:
Hot Hot Racin’ Car by Go2
We like crazy nights
We like to start the engine
Lets move story this down
Lets start this run
Picking up the speeding
Hot hot racin car
Three, two, one!
If there’s anything every single gearhead can agree on, it’s “We like to start the engine.”
I’m Your Sexy Machine by Hotblade
Heartbeat and sweat, adrenaline
Leave’em baby up to me
I’ll be the doc for blood on fire
Magic spell you can’t deny
I like to imagine that the car is singing this to me.
King of the Road by Kaioh & Domino
Hey, I don’t know your name
It doesn’t matter
Tonight we gotta drive to the moon
Hey, now we can’t be late
They’re gonna top us
Gasoline into my blood
Drive to the moon!! Pour gasoline into your blood!!! Anything is possible in a car!!!
Love for Money by Frank Torpedo
Dollars Dollars Golden Ladies
Money Money activiated
Love for money work for money
Work for money
“Money Money Activated,” is one of life’s many cheatcodes. Just say it in the mirror three times before bed each night and you will be fabulously wealthy.
Space Fighter by Captain America
Baby I really got to be free
Space fighter
Because we live in a galaxy war now
Yes I’m gonna be tonight
Space fighter
I’ll be killing all the aliens
I never knew that going sideways would lead to me getting into an intergalactic war, but here we are.
Moo Moo Dollars by Franz Tornado & Mad Cow Orchestra
Milk and cows tonight
Baby, shake me all around to feel the sound
“Hay - hay - hay, my gringo !”
Milk and cows I dream
In the little crazy farm, you feel alright
Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!
Moo moo dollars!
Baby, take me to the top
Get my brain on fire
Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!
Moo moo dollars!
Crazy cow dance to the rock
Jump over the wire
I... am not sure about this one. Cows like cars, I guess.
In the Heart of Rome by Za-Za
Do you wanna go there with me?
Where the days are easy and where the nights are sweet... yes
Julius Caesar and the pope
Will drive us all round in a golden cab
Yes, please god. Let the Pope whip us around the streets of Rome in the Popemobile. Also Caesar is there for some reason.
He probably would have loved drifting.
Dangerous Speed Cars by Luke
Dangerous speed cars
I’m in a mission
I got to moving fast
Feel the ride, the rush
The way I tease the clutch
Dangerous speed cars
Are like my woman
With curves like jaguar
And the way you purr at me
Give me the speed
I think Luke wants to fuck his car.
I Love My Dog by Vivi
Baby get me right - I love my dog
There’s no need to fight - My puppy dog
Nothing’s ever coming between you and me
There’s no compromise - I love my dog
How can you despise - My puppy dog
Do you think you’ll find us a place within your heart?
Yes. I will find a place in my heart for you and your dog. I promise.
Disney Mambo Number 5 by Derreck Simons
A little bit of Minnie in my life
A little bit of Mickey by her side
A little bit of Donald’s all I need
A little bit of Daiy’s what I see
A little bit of Pluto in the sun
Huey Dewey Louie can’t go wrong
A little bit of Goofy everyone!
A little bit of him makes life so fun
Why a Disney Eurobeat remix of Lou Bega exists anywhere on planet Earth, I will never understand.
Special thanks to Eurobeat-prime.com for encyclopedic knowledge of all things Eurobeat and a SICK logo.