This Is The Most Terrifying Image Of Santa Claus Driving A Car

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Let's just take a moment and really look at this picture here. There's a lot going on. It's from Museum Victoria's collection, in Australia, which is why it's so summery-looking. It was painted by James Higgins Quirk, and, while charmingly rendered, is nevertheless a little terrifying. Maybe because Santa is, like, 20 feet tall.

What's going on here? Santa's driving what looks to be like an early WWII army jeep, a not-too-accurate portrayal of a Willys, I'd guess, tearing ass down a dirt road near the coast. A crude sign suggests the road leads to a toy factory.

There's lots of people running to Santa, and as they approach we get a sense of the scale we're dealing with. Kids are shorter than the tires. A grown woman looks to barely reach the base of the windshield. This jeep is at least 8-10 feet tall at the top of the windshield, and Santa himself towers over it by another good 10 feet or so. Santa's a 20-foot tall monster here, tearing ass down a road, upraised fist in the air, ready to drive any hapless soul to approach him into the ground like a railroad spike.


One of the colossal reindeer is driving, leaving Giant Santa free to bellow and swing his arms and raise hell. Is he on his way to attack the toy factory? Were they competitors that must be eliminated? Are the people running towards the speeding juggernaut delighted, or is this a desperate last stand to save an Australian beach town?

I sure hope this turned out okay. Merry Christmas.