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This Colombian Women's Cycling Team Uniform Looks Pretty, Um, Naked

Illustration for article titled This Colombian Womens Cycling Team Uniform Looks Pretty, Um, Naked

I think if you design uniforms for sporting events, flesh-colored, skintight fabrics should only be used for figure skaters who want to pretend to show massive cleavage without freezing their boobs off. Otherwise, you end up with disasters like this, where a bunch of cyclists look like they're exposing their hoo-has.

It's unfortunate, because I'm pretty certain the goal of the costume designer was not to take the highly-skilled athletes of Colombia's IDRD-Bogota Humana-San Mateo-Solgar (whew) cycling team and make them look like they work for a new chain of genital-exposing theme restaurants called Cooters or The Vajajoint or something horrific like that. But look at these tweeted pictures, taken from a tasteful distance:


Oh, man. That... that really looks... Oh boy. Yeah, that looks like a tight crop top, rakishly angled, some innovative thigh-high shorts, and, yes, completely exposed vulvas. The shadows just sell it even more.

I feel for these women. They're serious athletes, in real competition, and thanks to a really unfortunate color choice, this is all anyone can talk about right now.


So, athletic costume designers, to repeat: lay off the fleshtones. Here's another reminder why:


Someone get these women a tasteful wrap or some shorts or something so they can just get on with it and race.

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Looks like the Brazilian team to me