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This 1996 Acura Integra Made My Heart Grow Three Sizes

Illustration for article titled This 1996 Acura Integra Made My Heart Grow Three Sizes
Screenshot: Craigslist

This morning, my favorite coffee shop was closed for remodeling, I got cut off in traffic and stepped on my dog’s tail, all before 11 a.m. I thought nothing could bring my day back around, until Jalopnik Editor-in-Chief Patrick George posted this Craigslist ad for a 1996 Acura Integra into Slack.

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Oh, to be a fly on the wall of that dingy garage where someone held an airbrushing gun aloft and had to ask, just once more, “You’re sure you want The Grinch, from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, surrounded by beautiful women in a Caribbean lagoon?”

“Yes,” this person said. “More sure of anything in my life. And... if you don’t think it’s too much... can he be holding a couple of Benjamins?”

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But “too much” doesn’t really exist for this Integra. I thought the hood was great, until I realized it also has Lambo door hinges, one of which, the driver’s side, doesn’t work.

Illustration for article titled This 1996 Acura Integra Made My Heart Grow Three Sizes
Screenshot: Craigslist
Illustration for article titled This 1996 Acura Integra Made My Heart Grow Three Sizes

This Integra owner was living their vision everyday. Some people are never that lucky. It also boasts working head and air conditioning, no small feat on a 22-year-old car.

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All the seller is looking for is $3,000, but the smiles this thing will generate? You just can’t put a price on that.

Managing Editor of Jalopnik.

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DISCUSSION

goat7
son of a motherless goat (PSA: wash your hooves)

I wouldn’t touch that with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.