Illustration for article titled Theres A Really Creepy Masturbator On The Loose In A Chevy Truck

Are you near Clackamas or Multnomah counties in Oregon? Do you have an urge to see a very creepy red-headed, naked man masturbate by a black 2001-2004 Chevy S-10? If so, this is a magical time for you, since there's a man of that description who's reported jerking off in front of his truck 14 times so far.


The problem is no one, and I mean no one, wants to watch this guy vigorously wank it, especially the women he tends to stop near. He targets women who are outdoors, walking or working in their yard, and he drives past them, stops his truck, goes to town on his groin, and drives off.

He's said to have either longish red hair or he wears a red wig, sometimes a camo ball cap, and he has a thin, muscular build. Who does this shit? How satisfying can this be? This chicken-choker needs to knock this shit off and get some help, in that order.


This article gives instructions on what to do if you encounter the Chevy-driving red-headed wanker:

Sheriff's officials ask anyone with information on on the case to contact the Clackamas County Sheriff's Office at 503-723-4949 or leave a tip at with a reference to case number 15-4282.

The real story here is that mugshot. Yikes. I'm not sure I've ever seen such a creepy mugshot. I'm no where near the perv, not a woman, and yet I think I still may have nightmares.


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