The World's Worst Porsche Cayenne

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When Jalopnik-reader Adam asked what motivated an elderly Asian man to accessorize his Porsche Cayenne with reflective tape, rhinestones and lights, the answer he got was "to make it unique." The real result? The world's worst Porsche Cayenne.

Here's the story directly from Adam:

So I was out with some buddies of mine last night in Thornhill, Ontario, Canada, where we witnessed a Porsche Cayenne as shown in the pictures attached. At first we joked about it being decked out in World Cup apparel but upon closer inspection we discovered that it was covered in fake rhinestones, reflective tape, pins, badges, thermometers, and compasses. After taking a few pictures we left and came back later only to discover that the Porsche was still there and there was a man that had some equipment sprawled out on the hood. We decided to go over and ask why he would commit such a terrible act on his Porsche. The man was a 60+ asian man who was working with super glue to attach his newly purchased rhinestones. We asked him why he would do this and he stated to make his car unique, to which I asked him why he would do this to an $85,000 car. He didn't really answer most of the questions we asked, like if the plane he had glued to his dashboard meant he was a pilot to which he responded "not really." The reflective tape was attached like a six year old did it. As we're leaving, the man was attaching more of the beads directly onto the hood of the car and I walked off in tears.

I thought these pictures and stories were something that I needed to share with you guys. One picture is the owner and the last picture is kind of fuzzy but it is the picture I snapped of him putting the new accessories onto the hood. You can see his towel he set up on the hood with all the equipment.


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One might argue the tuners have turned out worse Cayennes, especially since they considered them good, but to those arguments we have one answer: rhinestones. They're the trump card of customization, you want to one-up the awfulness of the next guy's car, add rhinestones. It's science.