The Toyota Sienna Helps You Scream At Your Horrible Kids

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The swagger wagon returns with what is perhaps the most useful feature ever offered on a minivan: a microphone and speaker system that helps parents scream at their horrible children in the back. Genius!

I don't have children, but I go to a lot of airports for my job, so I know that parenting involves screaming at your kids often while they scream back at you even louder because they don't care how they look to other people.

It sounds magical. I can't wait to try it myself.

But in the refreshed 2015 Toyota Sienna, Toyota has made that a little easier by adding a feature called "Driver Easy Speak," which lets you use a built-in microphone to amplify your voice through the rear speakers. Toyota says this is so parents "don't have to shout to passengers in the back."


Let's be real for a second, though, about what this is really about: putting your angry little motherfuckers on blast. It's just as clever and useful as the vacuum cleaner in the Honda Odyssey, except sort of militarized. The Sienna realizes that you can't ever give your kids an edge, because the second you do, you've already lost the war.


The 2015 Toyota Sienna: The official car of "Stop hitting your sister" and "If I have to tell you one more time, that fancy new Xbox is going in the trash."