As summer rapidly comes to an end, we return to the daily ritual of forcibly dragging children back to the classroom. And what better way to haul your kids back to school than in some of the most maniacal “family vehicles” ever created? Here’s 10 of our favorites.
10.) Volvo XC70 All Terrain Baja
Prepped with an extra eight inches of ground clearance, a turbocharged 408 horsepower five cylinder engine (borrowed from the XC70’s sporty little brother the V70R), as well as some very apocalypse-ready accessories, the XC70 All Terrain is by no means your average New England soccer mom’s Volvo. Why didn’t these glorious machines ever see production?
Suggested By: Margin of Error, Photo Credit: Volvo
9.) Reliant Robin
Once the other families get used to your routine of rolling side over side into the school parking lot, they’ll know to get out of your way for all mornings to come. Just uh, maybe invest in a roll cage. And some safety harnesses. And probably FIA approved race seats and helmets. Maybe just buy a used Spec Robin race car. (Is that a thing? It should be a thing.)
8.) Mercedes-Benz G63 6x6 AMG
There aren’t too many cars that can make a statement similar to what the G63 6x6 delivers. And if your children are subjected to the world of New York City private schooling where every kid rolls up in an Uber, or their mom’s Range Rover/ G550 (they’re basically interchangeable), this will just be one teeny tiny step above that!
It’s not even obnoxious. Not at all.
Suggested By: JasonM, Photo Credit: Mercedes-Benz
7.) Subaru Brat
Use Subaru’s attempt to beat the chicken tax to give your children trips to school they’ll never forget. Could you imagine being chauffeured to school in the epicness that is the Subaru Brat’s jump seats? Facing backwards, pointing and laughing at other students that are forced to ride the school bus? Now that is how you raise your kids.
6.) Mercedes-Benz Unimog U 5000 6x6 Bus Body
Why make the learning wait until the classroom? This Unimog is basically a classroom on wheels! Think of all the lessons your little ones will learn about rugged survival, conquering nature and why Unimogs fucking rule.
On your suburban road or the line on the Trans-Siberian Highway in Russia, there is no doubt that a U 5000 6x6 with a bus body can get you there.
Suggested By: Dake, Photo Credit: Mercedes-Benz
5.) Bisimoto Honda Odyssey
It’s a twin-turbo, 1,029 HP Honda Odyssey. With a manual gearbox and a massive intercooler sticking out the nose! Hell, even if it is slammed, it still gets a pass in my book.
The kids will just have to get used to the non-stop 0-60 pulls. Sorry in advance!
4.) The Marauder
Driving your children to school in a Marauder will not only instill fear in bullies, but may also keep teachers from calling you at home. The classic “Give my child an A or I’ll crush your car” never fails!
3.) A Scooter
As insane as it may seem, in lots of places across the world riding on the back of a Vespa or similar to get to school each morning is a dangerous reality.
If for whatever reason you need to transport your kids to school on a scooter, at least have them wear a helmet. If you like them, that is.
2.) Renault Espace F1
This concept was no ordinary Renault Espace minivan. It had a carbon-fiber chassis and body with a Formula One-sourced 800 HP V10 motor, strategically placed directly in the middle of the cockpit with only a thin plastic enclosure to distance it from your child’s eardrums.
With a 0-60 time of 2.8 seconds, this van (can we even call it that?) has four seats, which as far as I can tell means it’s more than ready to give some kids a proper ride to school.
Suggested By: As Du Volant, Photo Credit: Renault
1.) Higher Education
Is it just me or do those tires look a bit bigger than what was on your school bus as a kid? I guess someone’s finally doing something about the awful ride school buses used to have!
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Top Photo Credit: Renault