If you think it's more important to look cool than to actually be cool, then we've got just the right cars for you!
The Range Rover is one of the most capable off-road cars you can buy today, but the only dirt that most of them will ever see is the gravel driveways of their owner's summer house in Montauk.
Suggested By: damthisburnershitsux, Photo Credit: Range Rover
The only possible explanation for someone buying one of these overweight, floppy, expensive monstrosities is because they wanted the most expensive 3/4 series BMW makes.
Suggested By: waveridin1959, Photo Credit: BMW
As we've said before, parents, just buy the damn minivan. You probably think you're too cool to drive a minivan, but you're wrong.
Suggested By: ezeolla, Photo Credit: Honda
Nothing shouts to the world "hey look at me!" quite like a fart can, ideally on a rusted out shitbox Civic or Jetta or whatever the youths seem to be into these days.
The California is a Ferrari in name (and badge) only, the perfect cruiser for clueless show-offs.
"Look, everybody! I drive a hybrid! I care so much about the environment!" Sure you do.
Suggested By: JEM, Photo Credit: Cadillac
The Mercedes G-Wagen is a remarkably capable and tough off-roader that is rendered completely pointless when a 536 hp AMG V8 is stuffed under the hood and side pipes are fitted.
It's for people who are too wrapped up in flaunting their wealth to realize they're driving a bastardized version of a 1970s military vehicle.
Don't let the 700 hp V12 fool you – Aventadors aren't meant for going fast, they're meant for slowly tooling around wealthy cities making a lot of noise.
Too tall to be good on road, off road, or anywhere else.
There is no car in the world that has so much incredible performance potential that is used so little. A Veyron is at home cruising at Mach 3 on the Autobahn, but most are found doing 12 MPH around Monaco, making the ultimate poseur car.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: Waaghals