The Ugly, New Ford Equator Is Having Fun With It In China

Illustration for article titled The Ugly, New Ford Equator Is Having Fun With It In China
Photo: Ford

We’ve known that the Ford Equator was coming for some time now, but the official release is upon us, and the seven-seat SUV Ford unveiled is, um, different. Oh, I suppose there’s just no other way to say this: It’s ugly.

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Ford and its partner in China, Jiangling Motors, took a giant swing with the colors of this new SUV. That giant swing missed, but the carmakers had the audacity to brag about it by shoving that horrible paint color in our faces. And that really makes me happy.

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Screenshot: Ford

You see, Ford went for it. The Equator wears its magnificent, terrible color scheme proudly. It’s so terrifically bad, too. It nearly loops back around to look good again but when you take a peek inside, things take a bad turn. This is a deep purple SUV with white-on-purple leather seats, a purple dash, and woodgrain! Will somebody please tell me what year this is?

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Photo: Ford
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Photo: Ford

Despite its size and seven-passenger capacity, the Equator is propelled by a turbocharged in-line four-cylinder, a 2.0-liter EcoBoost, to be exact. But it’s not as large as the third row makes it seem. It’s not exactly a big SUV, just a bold one.

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It’s slightly smaller than the Chinese market Explorer. The Equator comes with a six-speed automatic transmission and is FWD. The price in China hasn’t been announced yet. Also, there’s no word on export markets for now.

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Photo: Ford
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To be fair, the actual design of the Equator is not bad. In its more conservative paint colors the Equator looks good! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but my favorite color of the bunch is the beige. Because it’s not that drab beige we mostly see nowadays, the kind that is flat and lifeless. This beige is bright in a ’90s way.

Illustration for article titled The Ugly, New Ford Equator Is Having Fun With It In China
Screenshot: Ford
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Look at how the silver wheels and beige paint make the oval pop. I’ve never been a big fan of the oval and its flowery script, but it looks great on the Equator. Just a touch of blue.

This beige is the color Ford should have led with, rather than its deeply purple fever dream. The purple Equator looks like a Lisa Frank/Ford Collaboration. It’s garish and loud and it won’t age very well, but it sure is memorable. The Equator is here to tell us we can’t complain about boring paint colors anymore.

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Photo: Ford
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Photo: Ford

Staff Writer at Jalopnik. Periodista automotriz, Naturally Aspirated Stan.

DISCUSSION

clackmannan
clackmannan

What’s wrong with the purple? At least it’s something other the boring as hell black/white/silver/grey options.