Imagine the door handles sitting next to each other.
Photo: Kristen Lee (Jalopnik)

Probably the best car that no one is buying is getting even better according to a report from Automotive News: The Lincoln Continental is going to get suicide doors. I am both extremely hyped for this and also simultaneously sad.

How the old suicide door Contis looked. This is from the 1963 brochure.
Photo: Lincoln (via Old Car Brochures)

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The news for the Conti getting backwards-hinged doors at the rear (as the infamous 1960s Continentals did) comes from the recent 2018 National Auto Dealers Association meeting, in which Lincoln showed a suicide-door version of the Conti and told dealers to expect a production version they’ll be able to sell, as Automotive News reports:

During its annual make meeting Saturday, Lincoln showed dealers a photo of the Continental with the rear-hinged doors and disclosed plans to build the model, according to multiple dealers in the room who didn’t want to be identified. The move is part of an effort to demonstrate the brand’s commitment to its car lineup.

AN reached out for comment and got a lot of non-denials, which is expected.

Are these doors good? Hell yes they’re good. Lincoln has been devoid of any strong personality for decades now, and “having cool retro doors” is at least a step in the right direction.

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From Lincoln’s 1962 Conti brochure.
Photo: Lincoln (via Old Car Brochures)

Is this, like, actually, meaningfully good for Lincoln? Well, maybe or maybe not. The Continental is already a good car, quiet and much more comfortable inside than just about anything else on sale. And yet still nobody’s buying the thing. Sales are already down 30 percent compared to this time last year, as Automotive News points out. Even that high figure from 2017 was about 12,000 cars, as we pointed out recently. Mercedes sold nearly five times as many E-Classes in that time.

Lincoln sells crossovers and SUVs. You have to wonder if there’s no amount of fancy design trim, fancy 30-way adjustable seats, fancy suicide doors that will sell a flagship sedan from Lincoln that isn’t 17 feet long. In this moment of cheap gas, anything that’s not an SUV seems futile.

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The current Conti.
Photo: Kristen Lee (Jalopnik)

But! That’s not to say the suicide-door Conti wouldn’t be cool. Pointlessness and coolness aren’t mutually exclusive.