The Future Of The New Acura NSX

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Year One: It’s not as good as the original NSX, it’s overhyped

Year Two: Maybe we were wrong about the NSX

Year Three: Rumors of the car getting cancelled

Year Four: The NSX was great, original car was brilliant

Year Five: NSX cancelled.

Year Five, six months: NSX-based new Odyssey minivan becomes Jalopnik Car of The Lunar Year

Year Six: How To Get an NSX For The Price Of A Camry

Year Seven: That new low-volume Supercar manufacturer is just selling re-bodied NSXs


Year Eight: Insane customizer covers entire front of NSX in little headlights

Year Nine: First NSX to enter LeMons race; car had 1700 gallons of raw sewage pumped into it as part of Adam Sandler’s movie version of Death in Venice


Year Ten: NSX retrofitted with autonomous driving system goes rogue, finally apprehended attempting to disrupt Minnie Driver’s practice funeral

Year 357: Matt Hardigree’s tomb is excavated, revealing like-new NSX with only 12 miles on the clock, frozen corpse of Matt Hardigree inside, surrounded by mummified cats.


Instructions found in the car reveal that the NSX is to be donated to the Hardigree Foundation, which fosters relations between Furries (who Hardigree predicted would be the dominant earth-culture) and the small remaining population of boring old people-humping humans.

It is known.

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