Space Force Will Keep The Indy 500 Safe From Aliens Or Whatever Space Force Does

Illustration for article titled Space Force Will Keep The Indy 500 Safe From Aliens Or Whatever Space Force Does
Photo: Ed Carpenter Racing

On Friday Ed Carpenter Racing announced that it would be carrying the United States Space Force colors (and upside down Pontiac emblem) to speeds it has thus far not reached. The Space Force was officially founded on December 20th of last year, and only employs 88 active duty members, and has not carried out any space defense missions. Indy 500 veteran Ed Carpenter will attempt to qualify the Space Force car into the race with a speed of at least 227 miles per hour. Not quite the 25,000 miles per hour needed to achieve orbit, but, you know, close.

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Ed Carpenter has qualified on pole for the Indy 500 three times in his career, though has never won the race, finishing a career high of 2nd in 2018 after leading the most laps. Carpenter has been trying to win this race for a long time, this will be his 15th attempt at the race, and he doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. Even without top-tier machenery, he’s always in the mix at the front in qualifying and during the race.

Carpenter has reduced his workload over the last few years to an oval-only program, sharing his #20 car with Conor Daly, who runs the road course events. The 39-year-old driver is among the most experienced in the series, having started 184 events.

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For the Indy 500 Ed Carpenter Racing will field three cars for Ed Carpenter, as well as the U.S. Air Force sponsored car of Conor Daly, and a third for the team’s only full-time 2020 racer, rookie Rinus Veekay.

Come to think of it, Rinus Veekay is definitely the kind of name that a space alien would come up with while infiltrating global popular culture to see what makes humans tick. He’s right under their noses and Space Force isn’t even protecting us! What are these guys good for? 

Jalopnik contributor with a love for everything sketchy and eclectic.

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arch-duke-maxyenko
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire

The badge engineering has gotten really lazy at GM, didn’t even bother to remove the Bow Ties before adding the Arrows