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Somebody Kidnap Ken Block, He Saw The Next Mustang

Illustration for article titled Somebody Kidnap Ken Block, He Saw The Next Mustang

Operation Kidnap Kenny B is underway. He has seen the next Mustang. We will get whatever information out of him we can.

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Yes, Ford invited Ken “KenKen” Blockenscratcher into their world HQ, had him chat it up with Alan “I’d totally schtupp an EcoBoost” Mullaly, and then took him into their design center where he saw the next Mustang.

How do we know? He instagrammed the whole thing. The Mustang Source noticed and put everything together.

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Illustration for article titled Somebody Kidnap Ken Block, He Saw The Next Mustang

Early morning start of work today in Detroit. First stop? Ford World Headquarters. #whatsabankholiday?

Illustration for article titled Somebody Kidnap Ken Block, He Saw The Next Mustang

Just having a mellow day signing docs at Ford World Headquarters with Ford CEO Alan Mullaly (one of the most powerful people in the automotive world). #nbd #executivelifestyles #madmensteez

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Illustration for article titled Somebody Kidnap Ken Block, He Saw The Next Mustang

I got to see the next generation Mustang today (it’s dope) at the Ford design center! Sorry, but this is the only photo they would let me show you. #topsecretshit #iaintleakin

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We know that sign says “cameras are strictly prohibited without prior approval.” It may seem like Kenny B has no pictures of the Mustang to show us. FALSE. It is a little known secret that Ken has a GoPro surgically inserted into his forehead running at all times. That’s how they’re filming Gymkhana 6.

If our Official Jalopnik Brain Surgeon doesn’t think we’ll be able to extract the camera without compromising the host, we can always use our Official Jalopnik Police Sketch Artist to draw up renderings. They would probably end up looking a lot like our existing renderings, but added confirmation is never a bad thing.

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We don’t know exactly how we’re going to get any other information out of him, but we think we will show him hours and hours of footage of understeering rally cars until he gives in and tells us everything.

(Hat tip to Puppyknuckles!)

Photo Credits: Ken Block/Instagram

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DISCUSSION

DarthDuster
DarthDuster

I see Alan Mullaly has a copy of 'Car' by Mary Walton on his bookshelf. If anyone wants an insight into the omnishambles that is modern car design, read this book.