We love to pit one high-end Italian car against another in this series; we've had Ferrari 250 versus Lamborghini Diablo, Espada versus Espada, Ferrari Mondial versus Maserati Coupe, among others. Up until now, however, a Lamborghini has never vied with a Maserati for a place in your Garage Of Eternal Suffering. We've managed to find a couple of quite affordable classics from those two manufacturers, so it's time to triple the size of your tool collection and buy some asbestos coveralls!

You don't see too many Lamborghini Jaramas around, and for good reason: only 327 were built. Yes, 327... so it stands to reason that you could never hope to own one. You can give that pessimism a big negatory, good buddy, because BZR has found this 1974 Lamborghini Jarama 400GT for us. It's been stored since 1986, so that means it's really only 13 years old! Skeptics might ask why it was stored for so long. It seems that there's some crankshaft damage; the seller states only "All parts with the vehicle. Engine rebuild required! Crank scored!" Probable translation: every engine component, down to the smallest fastener, will need rebuilding and/or replacement. You could always drop in a good ol' Chevy engine, but you might as well build a Fieroborghini as do that!

When you think "cheap Maserati," you're probably assuming the next thing you'll see will be the Maserati Biturbo, or maybe the Chrysler TC, and you'll groan "that's not a real Maserati!" Not this time, you pack of Gloomy Giuseppes, because A_Benz_Apart has found us a 1981 Maserati Quattroporte with the Geo Metro-like price tag of just 1,500 bucks! Unlike the Metro, however, this car isn't known for its gas mileage (the mean ol' EPA claimed 8 MPG), but that won't be an issue until you manage to get it to run... which might take some effort. The seller, a master of Hell Project understatement, says only "Sitting for 6 years. Was running. Needs work." What else is there to say? It was running! That means it should be possible for it to run again, right? How hard can it be?

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